Big Fish Recap - 12/14/2011 - Kaibow Time

Strike First, Strike Hard, and NO Mercy! Once again that is the Cobra Kai credo….one that was never forgotten but just temporarily put on hold. Well…..This Season is different…….this season the Cobra Kai are intent upon restoring the glory to the dojo and showing Red Bug Lake just what the team stands for.

The Great Tim Tebow once said “I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary and "The price of greatness is responsibility. Capt. Tucci quoted Tebow when imploring the Cobra Kai to reach Greatness this season.

Well…..The Cobra Kai displayed Greatness……..Struck First, Struck Hard, and Displayed NO Mercy in the fastest game in Red Bug Lake History this past Friday Night. Oil Can Sprague’s and Roundhouse Reger back from his tour of duty were on the base path ready to score in the top of the 1st inning……when New Cobra Kai Recruit Major Nelson stepped to the plate.

“I just wanted to show Capt and the rest of my Kai teammates I had what it takes to be a part of the winning tradition that exemplifies the Cobra Kai” Major Nelson said after the game……………….well on the first pitch from Savvy Veteran Pony Tail Ike……Major Drove an outside Slider up the middle with no Mercy and it tailed off the Pitchers Glove and next thing we knew blood was spewing from that glove……and the Kai were on the board. Unfortunately, for the fans of Red Bug Lake that night….that was as far as the game would be played as the Cleaners pitcher would not be able to return. Without their veteran leader THE Cleaners would succumb to the pressures and forfeit as failure was imminent and they knew the Cobra Kai were not a team to be taken lightly…….

This goes down as the Fastest Game ever in Red Bug Lake history lasting 1/3 of an inning. Major Nelson was promptly tested for Performance Enhancing substances after the blast….but the league only found nicotine in his system and he was cleared for the second game of the night.

The Second game of the Night pitted the Cobra Kai against the Free agents with a Regular Season First Place title riding on the line for the Kai. Each championship is unique and special and I think this can be a championship team. But we do have to take it one game at a time. You can't look at the end of the road before you get the next foot in” Said Oil Can Sprague’s before the game.

Oil Can Sprague’s took the mound looking to become only the second pitcher in Cobra Kai history to achieve an .800 win % and hold an ERA under 3.67 for the season……this will surely earn him top votes for league Cy-Young.

The Defense was primed and the Bats needed to stay hot if the Kai wanted to take home the division title on this fateful night.

In the bottom of the first the Kai held the Free agents to 0 runs and jumped out to an early lead as the top of the line-up got on and then Roundhouse Reger and Major Nelson drove them in to set the pace for the night.

"Many hands make light work and we all pitched in when our number was called tonight” another new piece for the Kai Brandon “B” Groves said after the game. B-Groves is platooning with All-Star 1B Koko in the 6-7 hole and they politely decide which player gets to get the hit each inning. However, after the game Capt. Tucci informed them that in the playoffs they can both hit back to back hits……..and we will need them.

Koko came out to tonight’s game sporting his “Plastic Man” underoos and made a Stretch Play at 1B to conclude a wild double play for the Cobra Kai. Johnny Blaze suddenly the New “Utility” player for the Kai found himself roaming 2B after Rambo got his “Thumbs” Broken last week down on the docks. “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are…I am just happy to help when my number is called wherever my teammates need me” Second base has been a dangerous spot all year….and I wanted to make my mark to help seal up the Right side of the diamond for Oil Can” Johnny Blaze said after the game.

Well…..The Bats took off for the Cobra Kai as in the bottom of the third. Roundhouse Reger blasted a shot to the Outfield and Major Nelson cleared them home with another clutch hit. Don Juan…..leading the league in On Base % at .889 came to the plate and blasted a shot up the middle leading to his first double of the year…..and second of his career. After the Game Don Juan said” Dose Pendehos think I have dee Nuts to run to 2nd base……..But dey forget I steal 2nd if they leave it unlocked”

The Kai opened up the game after that and soon the Umps were crying for the Mercy rule as the Kai ended the game after 6 innings in a 17-6 thumping priming themselves for the Championship Run this Friday Night.

The Team will have to bring their “A” game….and they will be ready as the Playoffs ensue this Friday Night Under the Red Bug Lake Lights.

Reger Rants - 11/22/2011

- Ok, my first rant has to do with people at public restaurants during normal dinner hours. Save the fucking dirty looks when my kids dare to make a sound. Guess what? People bring their kids out to dinner sometimes and they do make noise. I'm not talking 10 P.M. or at a fancy restaurant. I'm talking 5:30 at an outside cabanna restaurant. Get over it or stay home.

- I saw a guy yesterday wearing a shirt in public that said "100% Nigga" on it with a picture of a guy's outline pointing a gun. Guess What? If you want to be treated with respect, look and act respectable. That goes for every race, every color, male and female. I thought the shirt was kind of funny, but the intent seemed to be to strike fear in people.

- So, I am in the process of looking for a new job because, let's just say, that I was shorted a significant amount of money from my current job on a commission payment. I am one of 2 finalists for a really good surgical sales job. I have already interviewed 3 times with the same person and yesterday I flew up to Charleston for a final interview at the corporate headquarters. The price of my plane ticket? $850. When I was there I met a bunch of people who proceeded to tell me that the decision was 100% on the shoulders of the guy I had interviewed with 3 previous times. They also have another candidate up today to do the same thing. So that is %1500 spent for nothing. It seems like these corporations think they are playing with Monopoly money.

- Am I the only one that hates the method of player pickups in our fantasy league? It seems like you have 2 choices, either blow your waiver spot or race to your computer at 4 A.M. to make a pickup. I've never heard of a league like this and I have been in many.

- Call me a good samaritan or call me a nosy bitch, but I have started my own personal crusade against people breaking rules. The other day, I was waiting in line at Publix in the 10 items or less aisle. The lady 2 people in front of me had about 15-18 items. Most people would have just let it go, but not me. I went right up to her and pointed to the sign and demanded that she go into a different line. She had the audacity to get mad at me. Look bitch, it wasn't me breaking the rule. Also, yesterday when I was boarding my return flight, I was in zone 3. The couple in front of me were zone 4 (hadn't been called yet), so I pointed that out to them and walked in front of them in line. Once again, not my fault that you can't listen to simple directions.

Everyone have a safe and healthy Thanksgiving. GO PACK GO!!!!!

Big Fish Recap - 11/21/2011 - Showdown!

Showdown! - The Cobra Kai entered Fridays Showdown with the Cleaners in First Place despite missing key players through long stretches and devastating injuries in this up and down season. The Kai are a resilient group of veterans that seen it all…..but this season is one that is proving to be a teaching moment and showcasing the Cobra Kai resiliency.

“Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after another” And Part of being a champ is acting like a champ. You have to learn how to win and not run away when you lose. Everyone has bad stretches and real successes. Either way, you have to be careful not to lose your confidence or get to confident.” The surprisingly upbeat Johnny Blaze uttered at the post game press conference before coming to and asking what he just said because he blacked out.

On top of missing Roundhouse Reger Friday night who has been on fire for the Kai at the plate the team lost their hustle board leader Rambo to a broken thumb earlier in the week. On top of that the usually reliable leadoff hitter Dinger was caught in traffic and was late to the game. To add to it…the Umps were being investigated for cash/bribery allegations after calling the teams rock “Figgy” ineligible because of a failed waiver claim and alleged involvement with a 16 year old in an incident with Sully over 12 years ago. Figgy and the Cobra Kai declined comment but steadfastadely denied his involvement.

As the first inning came to a close the team had to shuffle around their defensive alignment as they were facing not only a tough Cleaners squad but apparently the Umps were against them as well on this fateful Friday Night. In the bottom of the 1st after giving up only 3 runs Oil Can Sprague’s gathered the team and told them:
One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot make a team." If you are going to be a champion, you must be willing to pay a greater price.” Now let’s go out there and show them what the kai are about!!!

The Cobra Kai then struck back and regained the lead in the first inning lead by Capt Tucci and Oil Can Sprague’s clutch hitting that set the pace for the Kai. Koko continued to showcase his new skill set of speed, power, and agility, as he tries to make his mark as a 2.5 tool player in Red Bug Lake. “I recently switched to the “The Flash” underoos and it has given me a boost in the speed department all around” Koko said after the game. He also noted that Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to the man of steel.

B-Groves the newest member of the Cobra Kai continued to showcase the team’s new resiliency and reliance on speed and perseverance. B-Groves has shown he can can go deep at games or draw a walk…whatever it takes for the team. Well, ON this night B-Groves was getting on base like Sully used to score at the candy store.

Speaking of On Base percentage and streaks…….a remarkable streak died this past week. The U of Miami alums failed to score a touchdown in an NFL game for the first time in146 weeks… a record surely not to be surpassed any time soon. However, DONJUAN’S streak of reaching base for the Cobra Kai remained Strong at 141 straight games……..” I am deeply saddened My “U” could not carry on the tradition….for that I will do everything I can to continue my streak in their honor and for the Cobra Kai” DonJuan said in his usual resilient and calm demeanor.

In the field the Kai were solid. Johnny Blaze turned the Cobra Kai’s First Double Play of the year and Oil Can made a play at the plate that at the time seemed like the play of the game and one that would seal the Cleaners fate on a Froze Rope throw from Capt Tucci deep in Center field.

The Game went back and forth and the Kai lead for most of the game. Then the Cleaners channeled their inner Mr. Clean and mounted a game tying rally in the bottom of the fifth. The Kai had their moments and then Sully showed up in his Levi’s after a meeting with Brett Favre delayed him….and he promptly ran out to the hole we had in RF by Figgy’s absence. Sully drew a walk in the bottom of the 7th…but the Kai fell a run short.

After the game the befuddled Leadoff hitter for the Kai simply said this”
"I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season.
You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. You will never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season."

Red Bug Lake…Beware….The New and Improved Cobra Kai is ready to Run the Table!!!!
See You Under the Friday Night Lights…………..God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Jack and Jill

Even with his monumental success, Adam Sandler has and continues to be an acquired taste of one’s comedy palate. Sandler might have as many detractors as he does rabid supporters, but that doesn’t impede his films from raking in some of the all-time highest box office tills in history. Jack and Jill continues the Happy Madison tradition of absurd scenarios, awkward dialogue, chainsaw precision editing, and an eclectic group of familiar faces.

Jack Sadelstein (Adam Sandler) is the owner of a successful advertising agency. He lives what seems to be the perfect life in California and is looking forward to his first family vacation with his wife and children on a 7-day cruise. But to get there he has to first endure the visit from his twin sister Jill (also played by Sandler) for the holidays. Jill has aggravated and annoyed Jack his entire life with her crude behavior and eccentric tendencies, so his goal is to get her back on a plane to New York ASAP. However, when Jill catches the interest of legendary actor Al Pacino, Jack sees an opportunity to satisfy his biggest client Dunkin’ Donuts, who has made the outlandish request to include Pacino in one of their marketing campaigns.

This movie is going to get slammed, crucified and bashed by critics. But why? Hasn’t Sandler paid his dues and dug out his very own niche brand of humor by now? Yes there are varying degrees of quality within the films under the Happy Madison umbrella, but they all share the same inherent wackiness. Sandler deserves credit for never abandoning the style of comedy that made him a star like Eddie Murphy has over the past two decades. Even though he’s proven his talent to embrace more serious roles in films like Punch-Drunk Love, Spanglish and Funny People, Sandler always comes back to feed his core audience another crazy-filled milk bone. Although Jack and Jill is certainly not a classic like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore or The Wedding Singer, it does contain some very funny scenes with hilarious sight gags that are able to support some of the weaker writing and is multitudes funnier than Little Nicky or Grown Ups. Much like the SNL cast that Sandler and friends sprouted from, his films seem to become more revered as the years pass by.

At some point in a successful comic actor’s career it seems to be a requirement to dress up and play a woman. In his first attempt, Sandler wisely did not try to actually look, walk, talk, or act like a lady at all. Instead he just put on a wig and did the voice of Eleanore from Eight Crazy Nights. At first, the character of Jill comes of as incredibly abrasive and not in a funny way, which was pretty effective in conveying just how maddening it’s been for her brother to deal with her over their lives. But as the film progresses, Jill becomes easier on the eyes and ears, and Sandler is even able to evoke some actual empathy for the character.

The supporting cast of Jack and Jill is pretty much a “This is Your Life,” for Happy Madison alumni. With only a few omissions, anyone who has ever starred or provided a cameo before in a Sandler film can be found somewhere in this story. But the most shocking is easily the last actor anyone would ever think of to agree to a large role in a Happy Madison production, Al Pacino. Pacino starring in this film is almost as unfathomable as him accepting the fictional Dunkin’ Donuts commercial that Sandler’s character is trying to pitch to him. Unlike his career counterpart Robert De Niro, Pacino has never really taken on a bare-bones role in a straight comedy. Surprise, surprise, he’s excellent at it. Pacino plays a maniacal wild-eye version of himself, as most celebrities do who play themselves in Sandler’s films, a la John McEnroe (Mr. Deeds) and Bob Barker (Happy Gilmore). But unlike them, Pacino does not just appear on screen for a small cameo role, he’s a major part of the story and has the most screen time next to Sandler himself. Pacino fits right into the sensory overload of crazy like he’s been doing it his whole career and hopefully this role will lead him to choosing more comedies in the future.

Many beautiful women have also starred next to Sandler as his love interest, and for the most part, they’ve all brought something valuable to the film. Unfortunately Jack and Jill is the exception as Katie Holmes is nothing more than background scenery. Sandler would’ve been better off continuing the who’s who casting theme in this film and secured a past co-star like Winona Ryder (Mr. Deeds), Drew Barrymore (The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates) or Bridgette Wilson (Billy Madison).

Another new addition to the Happy Madison family, and hopefully one that will stay on for a long time, is Eugenio Derbez. Derbez is one of Mexico’s best-known actors and extremely influential amongst the Latin American community. Mostly starring in foreign projects, Jack and Jill is Derbez’s first big-time Hollywood film. Like Sandler, he also plays dual roles in this film as Felipe and Felipe’s Grandmother who is easily one of the funniest and physically odd characters you’ll ever see. Derbez is so natural amongst the familiar cast that at first glance the Sandler Rolodex will start spinning in your head to find out what other films he’s been in. Derbez is a natural comedic actor and has great charisma on screen; hopefully he can manifest this role into more mainstream projects.

Six-year-old Rohand Chand in his very first acting job plays Gary, the Sadelstein’s adopted son who portrays a pseudo-Jiminy Cricket to Jack and has a very odd obsession with scotch tape. Chand pulls of the very difficult task of mixing extremely adorable with odd and creepy.

Jack and Jill will probably not be remembered as one of Adam Sandler’s best pieces of work, but it’s certainly nowhere near the atrocity that many critics will make it out to be. Sandler’s career can actually now be equated to that of comedy icon Steve Martin. Martin also had many detractors early in his career for his seemingly nonsensical and highly irregular version of stand-up comedy and films. Also like Martin’s early work, Sandler’s films are immensely popular but are looked down upon by many as lowbrow humor. Today Steve Martin is considered a legend. With time, his deaf ears to critics, and ability to play the occasional serious role, Sandler should someday carry that moniker as well.

Story: 5.0
Acting: 6.5
Writing: 5.5
Captivation: 5.5
Replay Value: 6.0

Total = 5.7 out of 10

Reger Rants 11/3/11

- One of the biggest trends in sports that is also one of the biggest wastes of breath is when a coach says "I take full responsibility for this loss". Really? So what is your punishment? Do you have to do up/downs? Do you get assigned to watch film in solitary confinement? Taking responsibility with no consequence is not taking responsibility. Its a nice jesture but it has no teeth.

- Once a name or a nickname is established, people associated with it can't steal it. I'm sick of Kluge trying to take my moniker. When he moved I didn't say "hey, why don't you guys call me smoky?" Let it go. Kluge Rant has no flow and sounds terrible.


- The Kai is now 5-0 and still we can't get a recap from keith. Let me give you a tip. The road is a great place to post. In fact, I am driving right now. It is a great way to kill time and it helps you work on your periferal vision at the same time. Left and right as well as up and down.

- I wish I could just be a professional interviewer. I absolutely love them. The thing that sucks is that after the interview, you actually have to work if you get hired. I went on one last night for a surgical device company and just got my invite to go to Charleston for a final interview. I don't know / think i'm going to take the job (more travel, less certainty and I already have a good job), but I forgot how fun interviews are.

- What is going on with the college conferences these days? I can't keep up and really don't care that much. It seems like every day that somebody is leaving, and then they aren't, and then they sue, and then they drop the lawsuit. What is wrong with the NCAA just assigning conferences, like professional sports? Oh yeah, this is the NCAA (National Communists Against Athletes) we are talking about.

- T minus 1 year and 5 days until Obama's presidency will thankfully end. Like him or hate him, he has not gotten the job done. Our economy is getting worse and there is no end in sight. The Repubicans will control the House at least through his first 2 years (if re-elected) and it will be, as Obama so eloquently put it in 2008 "More of the same". He might have the best ideas in the world, but if they can't pass, it doesn't matter.

In Time

Transitioning from one category of entertainment to another can be a very difficult process for a performer, especially if said performer is already embedded in peoples’ minds as their original occupation. Justin Timberlake should have his own “Inside the Actor’s Studio,” teaching a master’s class on the subject, that is, at least the faction of music to films. With In Time, not only does Timberlake prove he can headline a feature film, but he can throw it on his back as well.

Will Salas (Justin Timberlake, Friends with Benefits) lives in what appears to be a not too distant dystopian future where everyone stops aging at 25 and a countdown clock is activated in their forearms with the life allotment of 1 year. Money has been replaced with time as people now work to add more of the precious commodity to their clocks as well as using it to pay for food and goods. Salas lives in one of the poorest “time zones” where he falls into a chance meeting with a very wealthy and tragic man determined to give away the 100 years he has left. Following a tragedy of his own, Salas decides he’s going to take down the corrupt system that keeps the poor dying and the rich immortal.

In his first film as the heavy, Timberlake has chosen wisely, but in an ironic way that he probably did not intend. In Time is not a great film, it may not even be a good film, the plot is full of holes, the script is incredibly lazy and the whole film simply rests on the laurels of its intriguing and imaginative premise. But like the MVP candidate on a last place sports team, Timberlake’s talent is exemplified with even more contrast than his previous roles, as he is the primal reason this sinking ship of a film remains afloat and entertaining throughout. Already proving that drama and comedy were in his wheelhouse, action was the last remaining asset missing from the repertoire in his young acting career. But could he overcome his innocent boy-band past and prove to be a tough guy protagonist the audience can actually get behind? Timberlake’s increasing maturity level and in some scenes a James Bondesque aura of confidence, answers that question with a definitive “yes!”

Unfortunately, Timberlake cannot tap into the cloaking power of a Denzel Washington to hide the Death Star sized holes in this film’s story. Perhaps the biggest mistake In Time’s script makes is setting it in this reality’s future. Science fiction relies heavily on the rules of its imaginary world, but when no explanation is given at all for how or why the world turned out the way it did, the story falls very flat and unrealistic even in its own setting. There is never any mention of how or why people stopped aging at 25 or even a clue as to how everyone is born with a clock in their arms. If In Time were set in a parallel universe or another planet, it could get away with omitting the explanation of elements like this because it can be categorized as alien to our way of life. But the most egregious and blatant example of aloofness in the story is that the future portrayed in this film does not even seem to be a distant one at all. Based on the technology of the time it would seem this film takes place no more than 50 years from the present, but in the same instance there are characters claiming to be more than 100 years old. For society to change this drastically, at least an inkling of an explanation needs to be alluded to at some point if the viewer is to ever be fully immersed in the story.

Another area where this script just didn’t give a damn is in the surrounding world. The film never lets the audience know exactly where in the United States the story is taking place and whether or not the rest of the planet is working on the same system of time currency. Since people can no longer get sick and are supremely cautious with their well-being, is there still a military? Do professional sports still exist with championship teams able to stay intact indefinitely? Does the president serve more than two terms? Is there even a president at all? Elements like these did not require much screen time, even a news story on a passing television or background characters discussing current events could have added a multitude of depth to the overall plot.

Sharing at least some of the workload with Timberlake is Cillian Murphy (The Dark Knight) as the righteous timekeeper Raymond Leon. Timekeepers are the new police, making sure that large amounts of time are not transferred across zones. Murphy’s character had a lot of promise, but the weak script prevented him from evolving past a low ceiling. Leon is not just the common tunnel-vision antagonist; he’s a champion for the system, whether it is right or wrong.

Amanda Seyfried (Red Riding Hood) is the Bonnie to Timberlake’s Clyde as Sylvia Weis, daughter to seemingly the richest man in the world. Seyfried is not only underwhelming in this role but she actually drags down the film as her character and Timberlake’s reiterate the same conversation ad nauseam. Olivia Wilde (Cowboys vs. Aliens) as Will’s mother Rachel Salas is almost a throw away character and far beneath her abilities as an actor, and Matt Bomer (White Collar) was very intriguing as the rich and suicidal Henry Hamilton but was also vastly underused.

The only other noteworthy performance outside of Timberlake and Murphy surprisingly comes from Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four) as Fortis, the leader of the Minutemen. Conjuring up his inner A Clockwork Orange, Pettyfer ups his game tremendously from his previous roles. Fortis is the leader of a small mafia style gang who steals time from people and businesses too weak to defend themselves. Dripping with contempt, Pettyfer is instantly unlikable and is a perfect yin to Timberlake’s yang.

The premise of a futuristic Robin Hood who steals time from the rich and gives it to the poor is nothing if not imaginative. However as De Niro says in A Bronx Tale, “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.” And Andrew Niccol, director/writer of In Time, is certainly talented with stories under his belt like 1998’s The Truman Show and 2004’s The Terminal. Although in both those instances, the films were directed by Peter Weir and Steven Spielberg respectively. I’m sure Niccol had zero trouble selling a film to Hollywood executives that contained no characters over 25 years old and a countdown clock in just about every scene, but sometimes the person with the great idea is better off handing it to someone with great execution.



Story: 6.0
Acting: 7.0
Writing: 5.5
Captivation: 6.5
Replay Value: 6.5

Total = 6.3 out of 10

Footloose

Remakes. Some people love them, others bellow out George Lucas’ favorite adverb at even a rumor of one heading into production. Either way, they have been and always will be a very important part of the movie-making industry. At its core, a good story idea is usually time proof. And it’s a good idea to reintroduce that good idea to a brand new generation of viewers. However, if that good idea was to be branded a “classic,” then remaking that good idea could turn into a very bad idea. Speaking of bad ideas, even they get remade. And sometimes that’s a good idea too, that is if that original bad idea somehow morphs into a good idea over time while marinating in nostalgia and pop-culture references.

Here’s a good idea, how about I just review the new Footloose movie.

When reviewing a film it’s best to let it stand on its own merit, without holding it up to past films of its genre. But with remakes, that becomes nearly impossible. The whole reason they get remade in the first place is to try and tap into the success of the originals by dusting off and updating previously lucrative scripts. But why in the name of The Solid Gold Dancers would anyone remake Footloose? Sure it’s a classic, but it’s a classic for all the wrong reasons – a ludicrous story, bad acting from now very respected actors, an unforgettable soundtrack and some iconic scenes that push an easy 10.5 on the Velveeta scale. Actually with that being said, perhaps the question should be, how can you not remake Footloose? Attempting to remake a true classic like Arthur or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is quite dangerous, loyal fanbases are extremely sensitive. Select the wrong actor, skew the story too much or fail to revive the intangible aura from the original and it’s an instant disaster ready to mar the careers of all involved. But even a halfway competent crew, writers, and director could improve upon the film responsible for the two degrees of separation between Kevin Bacon and everyone who’s ever been on Sex and the City, couldn’t they?

It’s obvious Director Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow) was a big fan of not only the original film but its entire era as well. Brewer captures a specific quality with his new Footloose that’s becoming more and more scarce in films ever since the 1980s. It’s a feeling that most people don’t even know was missed until experiencing it once again. Footloose is not a film, it’s a movie. Somewhere along the way Hollywood started only producing either great films or mediocre to sub-par movies. The film industry seems to be mimicking our polarizing economy, fading out the middle class. What happened to the movie’s movie? You just go to the theater and enjoy yourself, not having to analyze everything so seriously, the story is coherent, the characters are enjoyable, and the writing is solid enough with some good laughs thrown in. Movies like Short Circuit, Dirty Dancing and Can’t Buy Me Love, are not great films, but they are great movies. With Footloose though, the laughable plot has always kept the original film on the awesomely-bad shelf. And in 2011, a story about a town in the United States where dancing is against the law would be viewed as infinitely more ridiculous. But is it really? Is it more ridiculous than not being able to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket? Because that’s illegal in Alabama. Is it more ridiculous than declaring that dogs are not allowed to bark after 6pm? That’s on the books in Arkansas. And to propel Footloose into the “based on a true story” faction, in Delaware alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time. Upon entering the screening of this film I too had the same concerns about the believability of a town in the United States in 2011 where dancing is illegal. Then I was told I would be arrested if caught with my cell phone out during the screening.

For good or bad, part of the original Footloose’s memory burn is the performance of a very young Kevin Bacon. In this new version, Kenny Wormald, a dancer since the age of 6, possesses that same raw charisma. In his first big-time acting role, Wormald’s inexperience does come through, but it’s obvious there’s a very talented actor underneath. Though in this reprised role as Ren MacCormack, his novice status works in his favor, resembling the fresh-faced and inexperienced Bacon.

Another dancer turned actor, Julianne Hough proves she was hired for more than just her looks and footwork. Hough and Wormald have pretty good chemistry on screen and it doesn’t hurt that they are both 10 times more talented in the dancing category than their original film counterparts.

But the habitual scene-stealer in this movie has to be Miles Teller (Rabbit Hole) as Ren’s rhythmically challenged friend Willard. Reprising and actually elevating the role from the late Chris Penn, Teller exudes instant likeability, delivering comedic lines with great timing and exhibiting the most polished performance amongst the younger members of the cast.

As for Dennis Quaid (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) in the role of Rev. Moore, he’s in a no-win situation. There are few who can go toe to toe with John Lithgow (Dexter, Footloose - 1984) especially when he’s the antagonist. But Quaid is certainly no lightweight himself, and if anything he actually brings more heart to the preacher character, possibly making his stance on the issues in the story more relatable to the audience.

The writing in the new Footloose may be mediocre at best, and the story certainly bangs the same drum for the entire movie, but those factors are secondary to the overall euphoric and nostalgic tone produced so accurately from an increasingly revered time period in film making. The dance scenes are unsurprisingly a stratosphere level more sophisticated than in the original and the great soundtrack is still in place, with only slight modifications. Also, it’s nice to see a remake that is actually a remake in the literal sense of the word. Footloose still follows the same exact storyline, has all of the most memorable scenes (yes even the warehouse dance solo) and Brewer integrates satisfying nods to some of the more cheese laced moments from the 1984 film without having to resort to obvious spoofing or parody.

As far as remakes go, 2011’s Footloose is one that actually builds upon the original source material, which may surprisingly be even more poignant today than it was 25 years ago. However, its biggest achievement is not the remaking of a story as much as it is the remaking of a style.

Story: 7.0
Acting: 7.0
Writing: 6.5
Captivation: 7.5
Replay Value: 7.5

Total = 7.1 out of 10

Moneyball

Over the last decade there’s no doubt that football has superceded baseball and solidified itself as the most popular sport in the country. However, in the world of film America’s pastime still reigns supreme, carrying the lion’s share of great sports stories. It is perhaps due to what some consider to be baseball’s greatest weaknesses, such as lack of action and focus on the individual, that gives writers the ability to produce unparalleled screenplays in the genre. Moneyball is a different kind of sports film, which moves the story away from the stadium field and into its back offices. And even though it’s a baseball film primarily about payrolls, trading players and number crunching, the story still manages to keep the game at its heart, stating very poignantly “How can you not romanticize about baseball?”

Based on the book by Michael Lewis published in 2003, Moneyball centers around the story of Billy Beane (Brad Pitt, Troy, Fight Club), general manager of the Oakland Athletics Major League Baseball franchise. Tired of building up a roster only to watch players flee from Oakland for larger markets and bigger paychecks, Beane searches for a new philosophy on how to construct a competitive team with the limited finances he has available. While discussing player trades in Cleveland, Beane notices top executives listening to the advice whispered by one very young employee, Peter Brand (Jonah Hill, Get Him to the Greek, Superbad). Beane corners Brand and amusingly interrogates him on just why a room full of highly paid "experts" are listening to a young kid who sits in a cubicle. After Brand explains he is a student of a new system using computers and overlooked statistics to evaluate a players true worth, Beane hires him to work as the assistant general manager for the Oakland A’s. The new philosophy spits directly in the face of experienced scouts and their historic methods for choosing players. When heavy criticism for signing players no other team would touch floods in from fans and media, Beane finds himself out on a limb with nothing in his corner but his convictions and Brand.

Much like he did with The Social Network, co-writer Aaron Sorkin is able to squeeze the drama out of the proverbial rock. Since this is a sports film more about the business of sports than the game itself, Sorkin's tone works flawlessly, amplifying the main character to make it seem like Beane's world is spinning 10 miles faster than everyone else around him. Furthermore, the brilliant intertwining of Beane's short-lived playing career throughout the story adds a compelling layer to the character, bringing the audience into Beane's mind and embodying his passionate drive to succeed.

Much like the baseball players in Moneyball, Brad Pitt has always been undervalued himself as an actor. Sure he's a superstar, but his pure talent has always come in second to his Hollywood persona. Moneyball should be a major step in reversing that trend, not to say Pitt has a shortage of fantastic performances already in his gallery. Roles like Tyler Durden in Fight Club and Lt. Aldo Raine in Inglorious Basterds may even present twice the challenge than playing someone like Billy Beane, but it's as Beane where for the first time Brad Pitt the superstar dissolves and only the character remains. Through simple inflection of his dialogue, Pitt enables the audience to feel the absolute angst and pressure of Beane’s situation and allows the viewer to erase the surface scenario of Brad Pitt trying to run a Major League Baseball team.

Also turning in a bar-setting performance is Jonah Hill as Beane’s assistant Peter Brand. Hill has managed to merge his awkward, undertone, deadpan humor into a great dramatic performance without having to sell himself short. Even though the character of Brand employs an intellect level which most people cannot relate to, Hill portrays him with an instant likeability and someone extremely easy to root for. Hill's chemistry with Pitt comes off as genuine and evolves at a real-world pace throughout the story. Hill is also responsible for a high percentage of the film's comedic moments which are able to mirror more of a real-life quality and refrain from going over-the-top to try and manufacture a laugh.

Other great actors like Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) as the A’s manager Art Howe and Robin Wright (The Princess Bride) as Beane’s ex-wife Sharon round out the supporting cast, but the heart of the lineup are the actors who portrayed some of the real-life baseball players. Chris Pratt (Take Me Home Tonight) who plays pitcher Scott Hatteberg and Stephen Bishop (Friday Night Lights) as all-star David Justice, respectively insert very different angles of the player's perspective to what Beane was trying to accomplish.

Much like the concept of Moneyball itself, the film has been heavily criticized before it’s even had a chanced to be viewed. Many avid sports fans have lambasted the premise of a sports film being made about a system that supposedly failed. That premise could not be more of a fallacy as the film illustrates very prophetically that sometimes in life you can hit a home run and not even know it.



Story: 9.0
Acting: 9.5
Writing: 10.0
Captivation: 9.5
Replay Value: 8.5

Total = 9.3 out of 10

Seven Days in Utopia

Just about everyone loves a great sports film. Actually, just about everyone loves even a decent sports film. Even the most casual fanatic’s DVD collection will probably contain at least a copy of Rocky. Sports is a drama all its own, but once it’s magnified on the big screen, it allows for all the minute details that get overlooked in a live broadcast to take center stage. The game of golf is one of the sports that lend itself to great story telling because of its intangibles. It’s one of the most intimate games ever invented; a single person’s battle against the field of play and themselves. A few films that have portrayed this internal conflict brilliantly are Tin Cup and The Legend of Bagger Vance. Seven Days in Utopia may only have had a “hole in one’s” chance to throw itself into that league, but any outside shot vanished three quarters of the way through the film when the writers dumped the golf aspect in favor of an infomercial for God.

Luke Chisholm (Lucas Black, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift) is an up and coming golfer new to the pro tour. During one tournament, he has a very public meltdown on the course and his father/caddy ends up walking out on him during play. Embarrassed, he drives to the middle of nowhere and accidentally drives his car off the road in the very small town of Utopia. There he meets Johnny Crawford (Robert Duvall, Get Low, The Godfather) a one-time pro golfer himself who takes an instant liking to Chisholm and offers to mentor his golf game by teaching him the need of balance in other areas of life.

Sounds at least watchable right? Surely not an original idea but it’s a sports movie with Bobby D acting as a Mr. Miyagi type golf guru, illustrating to Black’s character how to improve his golf swing by taking part in other activities like painting, fly fishing and piloting a small aircraft. The film does come off a little like a Family Channel movie of the week, but the golf seems to be very authentic and detailed information on the mechanics of the sport gives the characters credibility. Duvall and Black’s characters are well thawed out but the supporting cast is mostly just background noise, and a waste of time for an actress like Melissa Leo (The Fighter) who plays Crawford’s best friend Lily. Crawford’s alternative takes on golf are somewhat interesting and Duvall has an amazing ability to gain the immediate trust of the audience. Black has a very limited acting range but he too has that “innocent small-town folk” thing down cold, and plays off of Duvall’s character for just the right chemistry needed.

However then the third act starts and the vacation is over. Yes, the writers hope you enjoyed your stay in Utopia, but now it’s time to sell you that timeshare. And by timeshare I mean God. At least the blatant Callaway endorsements that wallpaper this film are bearable, as sponsorships are a big part of the sport, but when a film flat out abandons its own story to preach a life involving God, integrity has left the theater. Seven Days in Utopia does open by displaying a verse from the Bible, which could be taken as completely innocuous, but then doesn’t mention the subject again until the audience finds themselves swimming in it, looking around for a life saver from Noah.

Normally, the most egregious act a writer can make in a film review is to give away important story elements or, as they are called, “spoilers.” However, this is more of a “buyers beware.” A night out for a family of four to the movies is anything but cheap these days, and before anyone slides their credit card under the ticket window they have at least the right to know what kind of film they’re getting into. Anyone not of the same religious beliefs will be immediately alienated and pulled out of the story when the film becomes baptized, and it should also infuriate moviegoers who thought they had been watching a story about the game of golf.

Duvall’s character spends 80% of the film trying to improve Chisholm’s golf game and then in one fall swoop explains that results or making a put doesn’t even matter. Well maybe that’s true in church or a bible verse, but this started out as a sports film where the ending does matter. Unfortunately the writers decided that the ending was so insignificant compared to their message that they decided to not include it in the actual film at all. Like a GoDaddy.com commercial, the audience is directed to a website to view the conclusion of the story and no doubt some more “life messages.”

What’s incredibly ironic and hypocritical is that a film with a message of the importance of God in one’s life is lacking in the area of honesty. If the writers wanted to present how the lack of God’s presence in Chisholm’s life was detrimental, then the story needed to have more intricate comparisons. Just stating that there are more important aspects of life is weak and lazy, the story needed examples in the character’s backstory as to why this is justified or some kind of conflict within the story itself to make the character realize that life is more than just about winning, instead Chisholm just continually flashes back to moments with his overbearing father and conforms to Crawford’s preaching like he’s just been “healed” by a TV evangelist. In The Legend of Bagger Vance, the subject of God is alluded to, even Will Smith’s character is assumed to be some kind of angel or holy spirit, but the film never derails itself from it’s subject, the game of golf. Seven Days in Utopia could easily have been about bowling as much as it was about golf because its main agenda is not to tell a sports’ story, but instead to convey that people need God in their life.

At least when you get a knock at the door early Sunday morning you know what you’re in for if you answer. But if they were to start using legendary actors like Robert Duvall . . . well that’s just dirty pool.



Story: 4.0
Acting: 6.5
Writing: 5.0
Captivation: 6.0
Replay Value: 3.0

Total = 4.9 out of 10

30 Minutes or Less

Comedies may not be held in the highest regard when it comes to film prestige, but ask any accomplished screenwriter and they’ll most likely tell you that it’s the most difficult genre to triumph. “Funny” is not a switch that can just be flipped on. Unlike drama, romance, or even horror, comedy is more of a skill than it is an emotion. And even when writers and actors who are very proficient in said skill conglomerate on a project, it still does not guarantee success, ie Grown Ups. 30 Minutes or Less doesn’t quite achieve that monumental low, but it’s also certainly not going to be the film that convinces The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences to finally add the yearned after “Best Comedy” category any time soon.

Nick (Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network) is a pizza delivery guy at what must be the last remaining pizzeria on Earth that guarantees delivery in 30 minutes or less. Full of potential, as most delivery guys are, Nick has watched his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari, Parks and Recreation) and Chet’s sister Kate (Dilshad Vadsaria, Greek), whom Nick is also in love with, pass him by in their respective careers. When Nick makes a not-so-routine delivery to a junkyard, he is accosted by Dwayne (Danny McBride, Eastbound and Down) and Travis (Nick Swardson, Grandma’s Boy), two suburban terrorists who make homemade explosives from Internet directions and plot the demise of Dwayne’s father so they can inherit his lottery winnings. Needing fast cash to pay the hitman for the job, Dwayne and Travis bound Nick with an explosives vest and tell him he has to rob a bank and bring back the money before the clock runs out or . . . Boom! Panicked and fearful of remote detonation, Nick cannot go to the police and enlists the help of Chet, whom he has just had a falling out with over a secret relationship with his sister.

This film’s premise is actually not as improbable as it sounds. There have been documented cases where real people have been strapped with explosives and forced to follow a maniac’s demands. However, it’s the execution (more puns to come) of the plot where this film loses its grasp on reality. Not that reality was the targeted goal of director Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) to begin with, but much too calm and nonchalant tones in stressful and dangerous situations are more valuable when clashed with equally over-the-top scenarios, such as a zombie outbreak. When it’s in a “real-world” setting, like in this film, the comedy just seems goofy and unrealistic.

What saves this film from being labeled a complete bomb (there’s another one) are the performances of two of its cast members. Jesse Eisenberg emits his usual “too smart for the room” smugness and he does have good comedic timing, but it’s Aziz Ansari that really demonstrates who’s the professional comedian in the room. Ansari is just naturally funny even if the dialogue isn’t. His speech pattern and emphasis on words really sells some of the jokes and turns a few scenes around that seem to be headed towards self destruction (ding).

The other spotlight is on Michael Pena (Observe and Report) as Chango the hitman. Pena has the uncanny ability to transform from cool, laid-back teddy bear to gangbanging throat ripper in the blink of an eye, and all the while keeps the audience laughing.

Where the real comedy meat and potatoes of this film is advertised is in veteran funny guys Danny McBride and Nick Swardson. Unfortunately, they’re used mostly as a plot device, solely to place Nick and Chet in varying degrees of danger. There are a handful of amusing scenes between the two where ad-libbing may have replaced the script, but for the most part McBride and Swardson are more filler than they are funny. McBride rips himself off with a carbon copying of his Kenny Powers character from Eastbound and Down and Swardson takes his familiar role as the backseat sidekick, which has only weakened film by film ever since his breakout performance as Jeff in Grandma’s Boy. Sadly, a great opportunity was squandered with the duo, as this film provided the perfect outlet for them to break their type cast. A more interesting and funny approach would have been if they switched parts, with Swardson portraying an overbearing and abrasive character and McBride taking on the somewhat smarter, and meek cohort.

30 Minutes or Less does manage to deliver some original and witty dialogue and will probably be a fine addition to many Netflix queues in the coming months, but even with a runtime of only 83 minutes, the film’s title is still an unfortunate, ironic depiction to the extent of comedy you’ll see.

Story: 5.0
Acting: 6.5
Writing: 6.0
Captivation: 5.0
Replay Value: 6.5

Total = 5.8 out of 10

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The complete and total destruction of humanity, not a pleasant thought. Unless of course you’re talking about 100 percent pure movie entertainment! No matter how many times we blow ourselves up, let our technology enslave us or get wiped out by aliens, audiences never seem to tire of a good old fashion apocalypse. Even if its inception is over 40 years old, moviegoers will flock to see that idea reworked in a modern era. The only thing better than a classic end-of-the-world story is a current end-of-the-world story. It seems that script writers have run out of ideas on how to annihilate the human race, so let's go back to the granddaddy of dystopian futures and reboot Planet of the Apes . . . what’s that you say? Tim Burton already did that 10 years ago? Ok then, scratch that. If we can’t have a reboot then how about a prequel, that’s always a sure fire . . . huh? What? That was already done as well in 1972 with Conquest of the Planet of the Apes? Ha! You think you’ve won don’t you? You think there’s no way out. Well no one puts Hollywood in a corner. Behold, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the first “re-prebootquel.” Sounds like a cold and flu medication for computers.

Will Rodman (James Franco, 127 Hours) is a genetic scientist trying to engineer a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. When an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of his ape test subjects happens at the most inopportune time, Rodman’s project is shut down. Fueled by the desire to cure his own father (John Lithgow, Dexter) of the disease, Rodman continues his studies privately with a baby chimp that was unknowingly born to the aforementioned test subject and has seemingly been passed the effects of the experimental drug through genetics. Named Caesar, the chimp’s intelligence evolves at an unprecedented rate and eventually grows beyond Rodman’s control, forcing him to leave Caesar in less than scrupulous care. Not use to being around other apes, Caesar quickly realizes that he is very different from them and must unify his species if they are to ever rise above their diminutive status.

The Planet of the Apes franchise is one of the most loved in sci-fi history. Dating back to the original 1968 timeless classic starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowall, the series actually spawned four sequels in a five-year span that were almost uniformly condemned by critics but loved by the series' cult-like followers. Even though the original’s subsequent chapters hit far below its par, the story of apes evolving and enslaving humans is incredibly captivating, making it especially difficult to turn the channel should a marathon begin on cable television, taking you into the wee hours of the morning and causing a drastic reduction in productivity the following workday . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that.

With the newest chapter in the “Apes” saga, director Rupert Wyatt (The Escapist) intends for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, to be a complete reboot of the series and start a new continuity through anticipated sequels. However, there are many similarities and gratifying homage paid to the original series throughout the film while completely disregarding the Tim Burton 2001 reimagining, which will only upset the same group of people who hold Jar Jar Binks in high regard. Wyatt also managed to somehow capture that intangible and mesmerizing quality the first five films possessed, pushing any concerns about plot hole or character development issues far back in the mind’s eye.

Although, the most substantial facet to “Rise” may not even be fully realized until a decade from now. Much like other mile markers in the industry’s history such as Star Wars, Terminator 2, and The Matrix, Rise of the Planet of the Apes will be looked at as an evolutionary benchmark for CGI. At first sight, the effects seem slightly jarring, but midway through the film the apes begin to look flawless and interact in such a natural way that you almost forget they are computer generated. The depth of the emotion and expression in their faces is quite amazing. Advanced software and digital artists can only take half of the credit though, as Andy Serkis and other motion capture actors are the real essence of the life-like simians. Famous for his other motion capture performances as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings films and as the title character in 2005’s King Kong, the role of the protagonist chimp Caesar ironically evolves Serkis into the first real star in a new breed of actors.

Not that it matters, but there are some human characters in this film as well. While Academy Award nominees James Franco and John Lithgow are certainly nothing to shake a banana at, they might as well have been Taylor Lautne and Eric Roberts. The script uses the human characters as nothing more than plot devices to advance the apes’ story arc. Franco delivers the hallow dialogue with an even more wooden and empty delivery while the story hits the “# Years Later” button so often in the first act that the viewer barely even knows or cares about any of the human characters at all. Resultantly, this creates an even deeper connection with Caesar and the rest of the apes. During a long stretch in the second act, one may wonder if James Franco will even be in the rest of the film at all, but it captures the seclusion and abandonment felt by Caesar perfectly, crystallizing his ensuing actions.

Inarguably, the most iconic moment of the original Planet of the Apes is its legendary ending. Perhaps only a handful of films can ever match that epicness and wisely “Rise” does not even try. But it does create its own very feasible reasons for how a planet ruled by apes comes to fruition, leaving the audience with that patented ominous tone at which the original films were so skillful.

Even with its incredible technical achievements, it is very likely some, if not many, critics will label Rise of the Planet of the Apes as nothing more than another special effects extravaganza containing lousy dialogue, extremely weak characters, and pandering only to its faithful core audience.

So what’s the problem?



Story: 7.0
Acting: 7.0 (Flesh Actors 5.0, Digital Actors 9.0)
Writing: 5.5
Captivation: 8.0
Replay Value: 8.0

Total = 7.1 out of 10

Cowboys and Aliens

Westerns and sci-fi films. Although most would like to forget, the two genres have crossed paths before. In 1990, Marty McFly traveled back in time to 1885 to rescue Doc Brown and bring him back to good old 1985 in the final installment of the Back to the Future series, and nine years later, Will Smith and Kevin Kline stop an ex-Confederate scientist from destroying the United States with Jon Peters’ giant pet robot spider (see An Evening with Kevin Smith for Jon Peters reference) in Wild Wild West. With those two films heavily panned by critics and moviegoers, it takes another flash forward to 2011 before director Jon Favreau’s Cowboys and Aliens wrangles up Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig to fight off an alien invasion in an attempt to triumph over those two aforementioned films and crown an undisputed champion in this spliced category. Not exactly a hard fight to win, but disappointingly Cowboys and Aliens only manages to walk away with a TKO.

Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig, Casino Royale) wakes up in the desert with no memory of who he is or where he’s been. A strange mechanical bracelet is locked to his left wrist and everyone is trying to capture or kill him for being a wanted man. As he tries to piece together his fragmented brain, he settles in a small upstart town where a man named Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford, Extraordinary Measures) is the backbone of the economy. When Dolarhyde hears that Lonergan is in his town, he seeks retribution for crimes supposedly perpetrated by Lonergan, who cannot remember if he is guilty of such accusations. Everything then comes to a standstill as flying machines invade the town and snatch up townspeople like they are cattle. The aliens’ presence activates Lonergan’s bracelet and proves to be the only weapon capable of substantial firepower against them. The cowboys put away their differences amongst one another and their human adversaries to fight a common enemy as they try to rescue their loved ones and rid themselves of this new and deadly threat.

If actor/director Jon Favreau ever lived in the old west himself, he would certainly never be labeled as “yella.” Whether you’re a fan of his work or not, the guy takes plenty of gambles in his career, which so far have paid off in spades. In his latest “double down,” Favreau tries to successfully mesh a serious western with a science fiction, extra terrestrial flick.

In a microcosm, Cowboys and Aliens is the Citizen Kane of this Frankenstein genre. The film actually does convey the tone of a serious western before all of the alien madness begins. The only problem is that Favreau might have opened the film too well. The aliens seem to have ruined what could have been an even better movie. Great westerns rest heavily on deep and rich characters and intense nerve-racking standoffs, whether they are exchanging bullets, words, or even glares. With its first-class cast, this film has the inherent components to pull off such a story, but just when things start to get good, aliens show up with their photon guns blazing and erase all the great, pent-up drama. Instead of propelling each other, the colliding of these two genres inhibits either one from ever reaching their apex, like an infinite game of tic-tac-toe.

The plot drags slowly through the middle as the two genres intertwine, culminating in a more violent Independence Day-esque type of climax. The script takes more and more liberties as to just how vulnerable the aliens are to the cowboys’ gunfire, wavering in believability on just how effective a small army can be against such a technologically and physically advanced species. And although very plausible, the entire reason for the alien’s presence on Earth is explained in a very lazy manner.

In a purely visual aspect, the aliens are surprisingly original. Creating a monstrous alien that actually raises the brow of jaded audiences is a victory in itself. They are actually scary, noting specifically that they are not the cookie cutter, faceless, oversized reptiles that have become the default in the industry. They’re able evoke fear through expression as well as physical prowess.

The only thing that stops a film with a title like Cowboys and Aliens from getting thrown right into the “straight to DVD” pile is when names like Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford are attached to it. Craig and Ford have chemistry on screen together without even saying a word. It’s almost a shame that the duo had to team up to fight aliens instead of playing out their original conflict. Ford plays a different kind of hero in this film, one that the audience is never quite sure they even like until the very end. And few actors say as much with a blank expression as Daniel Craig, which works phenomenally in a western or action setting. He’s just got that intangible badass tone to him and he actually says more with less dialogue.

The supporting cast is filled with actors that would have been great characters but did not get enough screen time due to the whole fighting aliens thing, including Olivia Wilde (Tron: Legacy) as Ella Swenson, Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2) as Doc, Keith Carradine (Dexter) as Sheriff Taggart, Paul Dano (Knight and Day) as Percy Dolarhyde and Clancy Brown (The Shawshank Redemption) as Preacher Meacham. They all get pigeon crumbs of backstory, which does add to the plot, but overall these characters feel mostly hallow and incomplete.

Cowboys and Aliens may be its own worst enemy, but it’s still intriguing to watch two of the most classic categories of characters in the history of film interact. And even with all of its flaws, in no way is the film a lost cause. It just comes off as more of a prototype. Perhaps after this type of film is reworked over and over again, it would evolve into something really incredible, scaling back the alien presence and using it only to further enhance an already powerful western storyline.



Story: 6.5
Acting: 7.5
Writing: 6.5
Captivation: 6.5
Replay Value: 6.5

Total = 6.7 out of 10

Captain America: The First Avenger

Mascots, war bonds and comic book characters are just a few of the many symbols created during the WWII era in an effort to raise the hopes and morale of Americans. One of the most famous examples is the Uncle Sam “I Want You” posters, and even Superman was thrown into the war with some of the Fleischer cartoons. But the award for the most blatant example of pro-American WWII pop culture would have to go to Captain America. Dressed like a big American flag and fashioned with a bold letter “A” right on the top of his head, the character was immensely popular during the Nazi fighting days of the early ‘40’s. However, as the war concluded so did the clamoring for super heroes, particularly Cap himself. But when it comes to characters in soap operas and comic books, never say, “die.” Just like in his own storyline, Captain America has once again been resurrected. No, it wasn’t being thawed out from a big block of ice that led to the character’s resurgence, this time around it was something even more frigid and unforgiving . . . Hollywood.

Steve Rodgers is a nebbish of man with the heart of a gladiator. Wanting nothing more than to do his part for America in the war effort of the early 1940’s, Rodgers goes as far as to falsify information of his background so he can apply at multiple recruiting centers, only to be perpetually rejected due to his diminutive stature. Refusing to quit, his determination is noticed by Dr. Abraham Erskine, a scientist heading a top-secret program to create the perfect super soldier. Lacking physical attributes but gifted with all of the mental requirements, Rodgers is offered the position of test subject by Dr. Erskine. The experiment transforms Rodgers exterior to match his interior, manifesting in the perfect physical specimen of human ability.

Captain America: The First Avenger is the final stepping stone to Marvel Studios’ incredibly ambitious and unprecedented The Avengers project. Although, director Joe Johnston (The Wolfman, The Rocketeer) made sure that this film was more than just propaganda material. Borrowing from his creative pool during his days on The Rocketeer, Johnston once again sets the quintessential tone of the WWII era by breathing life and a third dimension into Norman Rockwellesque illustrations while still maintaining the ambience already established by the previous Marvel films in The Avengers continuity.

The writing in this film might be unfairly and ironically criticized for sounding like something out of a comic book. However there is a big difference between bad and purposeful dialogue. The script of this film resembles the latter, what could be mistaken for lazy or cheesy writing actually emulates a simpler time period where actions spoke much louder than words. Also, the method in which Captain America is first used by the Army is very clever and poignant to the period, not to mention mirroring the main reason the comic book character was created in the early ‘40s to begin with. The story definitely feels a little frantic in the 2nd act with what seems to be a rushed storyline by way of montage, but Johnston’s intention was to mimic the quick pace of the old-time newsreels that appeared before films in movie theaters of that era. Unfortunately, more of that footage should have focused on Captain America learning how to use his new abilities and wield his shield properly, à la Tony Stark in the first Iron Man film. Instead Rodgers is just inherently able to fight flawlessly and toss the shield around like he’s been doing it all his life. All is forgiven though with the very entertaining 3rd act that invokes some real emotion and pulls the audience deep into the film just in time for its conclusion.

Chris Evans (The Losers, Fantastic Four) may not be the Captain America equivalent of actors, but he does bring the inherent heart needed to fill the role. Incredibly endearing, he embodies the pureness of the character and exerts believability to Cap’s personality. Lines like “I don’t want to kill anybody, I just don’t like bullies,” are definitely cheese infused to the point where Pizza Hut would like to throw it on their menu, but Evans delivers them with conviction, as if he was actually portraying a character from a comic book. Imagine that!

Evans also had the advantage of some crazy-good supporting actors around him, including Stanley Tucci (The Devil Wears Prada, The Terminal) as Dr. Erskine and Tommy Lee Jones (The Company Men, No Country for Old Men) as Colonel Chester Phillips, the stereotypical hard ass career Army man played with the meticulously precise amount of deadpan humor that few other actors can portray.

Howard Stark, the father of Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, also appears in this film and is an integral plot piece played with just the right amount of demur by Dominic Cooper (The Devil’s Double, Mama Mia). It’s no mistake that Howard Stark is Tony’s father, but Cooper is able to play the role without going into an all out Robert Downey Jr. impression, giving the character his own unique personality.

The Red Skull has to be one of the most evil characters in the Marvel Universe, not only does he want to enslave the entire world but he’s a Nazi to boot. There may only be a handful of actors that can match the intensity needed for such a character, Hugo Weaving (Lord of the Rings, The Matrix) would definitely be a prime candidate. Weaving, whose real name may actually be more intimidating than the villains he portrays, delivers his lines with diction so perfect that it actually becomes unnerving. The Red Skull is also one of the most challenging characters visually that Marvel has ever brought to life. Weaving’s makeup for his character was perfect, some might even say too perfect. The effects on the Red Skull looked very smooth, shying away from the grotesque shock value like that of Aaron Eckhart’s Two Face in The Dark Knight. But for the tone of this film, the production designers chose wisely. That kind of realism would feel out of place in the more stylized and lighter Marvel films. The Red Skull still looked very convincing, much like the character was transposed right out of the pages of the comics themselves.

Other visual effects in this film range from the “not quite ready” to “standout brilliant.” As astonishing as it is to see Chris Evans’ emaciated face on an even more emaciated body before Rodgers goes through the super serum experiment, there are some instances where it just looks a little off, particularly when he speaks. Then there are other scenes when it is rendered flawlessly and the phrase, “how the hell did they do that” rushes through the viewers mind. Overall the effect works more than it doesn’t and is only used for part of the first act anyway.

Another production quality that impresses is the final costume donned by Captain America. It’s probably one of the best movie costumes ever made for a comic book character. Not only does it pop off the screen like it’s made out of living watercolors, but it remains very functional and appropriate for the time period.

Captain America: The First Avenger definitely reaps the benefits of being part of The Avengers hype machine, but as a standalone film it’s the best Marvel Studios has produced since the original Iron Man. It might even be strong enough that after all the hoopla of The Avengers is over, moviegoers will still get in line to see Captain America throw his mighty shield a few more times.

Story: 6.5
Acting: 7.5
Writing: 7.0
Captivation: 7.0
Replay Value: 7.5


Total = 7.1 out of 10

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

“Unprecedented” and “epic.” Terms that are attributed far too casually in today’s pop culture but remain the embodiment of what the tale of “the boy who lived” has accomplished over the past decade. But no matter how amazing, how grand or at what heights a saga can climb, it will only ever be as strong as its climatic conclusion. This is the heavy burden carried by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

Resuming very near the instant where Deathly Hallows Part 1 closed, Harry, Hermione and Ron continue on their mission to destroy the remaining horcruxes of Lord Voldemort in an effort to make him vulnerable. With very little to go on and still piecing together the significance of the Deathly Hallows, the trio make their way back to Hogwarts to confront the now Headmaster Snape and take back the school. With each horcrux Harry destroys, Voldemort becomes more unhinged and he sets out to kill Harry once and for all.

Director David Yates (Deathly Hallows Part 1, Half-Blood Prince, Order of the Phoenix) masterfully and slowly gradients his way out from the jarring, ominous tone he set in Deathly Hallows Part 1. Largely due to the main three characters emerging from their seclusion and the reappearance of the very important supporting cast, including the Hogwarts School itself. Even in its dark state, seeing the school again was extremely comforting after the manic transgressions of Deathly Hallows Part 1. Which may be where some reviews of “Part 1” were slightly short sighted, present writer slightly culpable. The exclusion of Harry from his friends, teachers and the school in “Part 1” is an integral component of what makes “Part 2” so powerful, but even more important, it may be the key to fully understanding one of the dullest, interesting, vanilla, complex characters ever created, Harry Potter himself.

I’m going to break my own rule of not writing in the first person for this review. Much like a narrator in a film like The Shawshank Redemption or Fight Club, the tactic only works if it truly adds depth and meaning that could not be achieved otherwise. I feel the need for this because I now believe that I have been something that I definitely do not like to admit being. That thing would be “wrong.” I’ve been wrong about the character of Harry Potter for seven films. I’ve had expectations that I had no right to presume, I’ve been advocating and petitioning for this character to act in a way he was never meant to act. I was not alone in my frustrations, and I take zero responsibility, no way, of course not. I was tricked, bamboozled, run amuck, led astray. I didn’t land on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hogwarts landed on me! The realization that I’ve been so wrong is what sets the Potter "chosen one" saga apart from all others. Not because I’m a “know it all,” although that accusation has been cast my way more than a few times, but because being wrong about Harry, putting pressure on him, waiting for him to do something that is completely beyond his abilities, is exactly what the character feels in the story. I’m just another outsider, thinking this boy is “the chosen one,” waiting for his legend to come to fruition and defeat an all-powerful dark lord. Harry Potter is not Neo nor is he Luke Skywalker. He is simply a boy who was born into an impossible situation, trying to save the world even though he has no business doing so. This is not to say Harry does not have special abilities above all others as it becomes quite clear in this film why he has been so often compared to his mother Lily throughout the series.

Aside from the great storytelling, witty dialogue, and perfect chemistry you’d expect from actors that have been on the same job together for a decade, there are two standout performances in this finale. No, it’s not the nervous courage of Daniel Radcliffe as Harry or the immersive hopelessness once again perfected by Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort, this time around its Rupert Grint’s Ron and Alan Rickman’s Snape who exhibit the welcome evolution of a stronger and a vulnerable side respectively at symphonic moments in the story arc.

Deathly Hallows Part 2 also embraces a much grander Return of the King or Return of the Jedi experience, but makes sure to still spotlight smaller characters, which are so important to the drive behind Harry’s purpose. A good portion of the plot focuses on revealing the answers to many of the questions that fans who have only seen the films have had for many years, but the script is able to incorporate them into the story naturally to avoid feelling like a Wizarding World version of "This Is Your Life." Readers of the books, who will undoubtedly tell you every single thing that was left out or changed whether you elicit the information from them or not, should also be very fulfilled. Of course that’s taking into account they have enough inherent logic to comprehend if the films were a direct transcript of the books, we would still be awaiting the release of “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Part 3”

So with the triumph of Deathly Hallows Part 2, the question can finally be seriously debated, is the "Harry Potter Saga" the greatest film franchise of all time? Perhaps, perhaps not. It’s not really a question that would have had a definite answer whether this film emulated The Empire Strikes Back or Howard The Duck. The real achievement is that the franchise is now in the argument. Although, during such discussions an ironic parallel will undoubtedly and maybe even unknowingly be drawn to its title character. Against titans like Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rocky, and The Godfather, advocates of Harry Potter will shout at the top of their lungs that it is easily the greatest film saga of all time and cannot be defeated. Detractors will claim the “Potter” films have no business being uttered in the same breath as those franchises. Others may even placate that they are greatly misunderstood, or say that they had so much potential to be greater than they are.

Before this film, if I had heard an argument such as that I would have aligned myself with one of those facets and fought for it vehemently. Now I would simply say . . .

Brilliant.



Story: 8.0
Acting: 8.5
Writing: 8.0
Captivation: 8.5
Replay Value: 8.5

Total = 8.3 out of 10

Friends with Benefits

A mainstream film career is about as stable as a Dubai skyscraper made out of Jenga bricks. Choosing the wrong script at the wrong time could result in a very narrow selection of offers that come into an agent’s office, which may or may not involve a commercial for a free credit report or STD medication. Inversely though, nailing that perfect role at just the right stage in a career can make selecting future projects like choosing a favorite flavor at Baskin Robins.

Justin Timberlake, would you like that in a cup or cone?

In the film Friends with Benefits, Dylan (Justin Timberlake, Bad Teacher, The Social Network) is a very talented art director for a small but high-traffic internet blog based in Los Angeles. Jamie (Mila Kunis, Black Swan, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) is a Fortune 500 headhunter trying to lure Dylan to New York for a position at GQ Magazine. As Jamie leads Dylan on an NYC seduction tour, they discover a mutual account of failure with past relationships. As their friendship thrives, they decide to add sex into the equation by removing all of the complicating factors that have previously plagued them, only to find out that life doesn’t take too kindly to simplicity.

This is the film that transforms Justin Timberlake from a musician who dabbles in acting to an actor who started out as a musician. Possibly stepping onto the yellow brick road leading to the great and powerful career of Will Smith, Timberlake shows he’s more than just a character actor and doesn’t need a Cup ’O Soup costume or a box strapped to his waist to be genuinely funny. As he’s shown time and time again, his complete lack of an inflated ego prevents even someone who has an “I hate Mickey Mouse Club boy band members who dated a pop star and got ‘Punked’ by Ashton Kutcher on national television” bumper sticker from disliking him. And as the story surprisingly develops a third dimension, Timberlake also gets to show off his previously established dramatic capabilities as well, this time adding in authentic transitions from funny to serious and back again in the same scene. Notoriously known as a perfectionist, a small drawback to Timberlake’s performance is that some scenes come off as a bit too rehearsed, which makes the dialogue sound more like it’s being remembered than created organically by the character. As he takes on more of these roles it would be advantageous for Timberlake to ever so slightly emulate more of a relaxed deadpan demeanor, a la Paul Rudd (Dinner for Schmucks, Role Models)

Co-starring in the female lead is Mila Kunis who extends her acting range yet another notch with Jamie, a character who is once again very different from any of her previous roles. Kunis already had a substantial background in comedy well before this film from her sitcom days on That 70’s Show and The Family Guy. Her timing has honed over the years and the ability to be funny without a concrete punch line has enhanced. Most impressively though, she always manages to maintain what seems to be a resonance of herself throughout her characters and commands attention anytime she’s on screen with her undeniable beauty.

Not that they needed it, but backing up the two stars is a “Murderer’s Row” of a supporting cast. The film is peppered with great actors and six degrees of Timberlake and Kunis cameos that actually add more to the story than just familiar faces. Characters who in most films would be used as a simple plot device or background noise are actually thawed out and provide the story with deeper content. But the two that really stand out amongst the stacked lineup are Woody Harrelson (Zombieland) as Dylan’s GQ co-worker Tommy, and Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) as Dylan’s father, Mr. Harper.

No matter what genre of film he’s in, Harrelson ups the ante anytime he’s on screen. His abrasive character of Tommy takes a "liking" to Dylan as he spews out unwarranted relationship advice, leaving no thought unspoken. Harrelson has become the type of actor whose persona has the tendency to overshadow less experienced actors like Timberlake, but he’s also versed in how to dial it back and let the scene breathe when needed.

If Michael Jordan was a character actor, he’d be Richard Jenkins. One of the most universal and consummate father figures, Jenkins could take on the role of Chewbacca’s dad and make it believable. The scenes between Mr. Harper and Dylan are written with a heaping and profound amount of heart, and also tackle a subject matter that a zero percentage of moviegoers would expect to see in this film.

Another argument could be made that the two most important characters in the film are not even people at all. The cities of New York and Los Angeles and their Bizarro-world differences are just as much at the forefront of this film. Director and co-writer Will Gluck (Easy A) portrays the yin and yang of the cities very poignantly as the tone and even the pace of banter between characters adapts to their surrounding city. Gluck also delves bravely into some of the more awkward moments during Dylan’s and Jamie’s intimacies that do very little to bring sexy back, but absolutely do occur in most peoples’ everyday lives.

Exposed only to the trailer, one might reasonably think that Friends with Benefits is nothing more than a rom-com doppelganger of No Strings Attached. But as the story unfolds, it surprises the audience with its meaningful depth and original comedic scenarios. Also, the chemistry between Timberlake and Kunis develops naturally and at a pace that feels much more realistic than Portman and Kutcher in the aforementioned film. Simultaneously advantageous and dangerous for its genre, Friends with Benefits exemplifies just how satisfying a romantic comedy can be when the story is not cheap, flat and gratuitously aimed at only one gender.



Story: 8.0
Acting: 8.0
Writing: 8.0
Captivation: 8.0
Replay Value: 8.0

Total = 8.0 out of 10

Bad Teacher

In today’s media overdosed and jaded society, the shock value of uncensored material has definitely been diluted by sources like cable television and the Internet. However, the “R” film rating still holds some gravitas, especially when it comes to comedy. Back in the 1980’s the box office was inundated with these types of films, but as the quality decreased so did audiences appetite for them. 1998’s There’s Something About Mary is the film credited most with reinvigorating the genre, and over the past decade the R-rated comedy has made a strong comeback. However, anytime something makes a resurgence it’s bound to go through its ups and downs all over again. Since “Mary’s” genesis there have been highs like Wedding Crashers and The Hangover but also films like Miss March and Take Me Home Tonight, which died a quicker death than Michael Richards' stand-up career. Of course these are just the polar extremes, most of what is produced lies somewhere in between. For better or worse, this is the space where Cameron Diaz, the title actor from the ensemble cast of “Mary,” now finds her own R-rated comedy vehicle Bad Teacher, securely parked.

Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz, Knight and Day) is a public school teacher for all the wrong reasons. An amoral, selfish opportunist who is constantly looking to hook up with any ATM with a heartbeat so she can drop her job and live the “good life.” Just as she is about to get all her greedy heart’s desires, her rich fiancée wises up to her scheme and sends her packing back to her old life, pointed tail between her legs. Looking to once again coast through the school year, making everyday “movie day” in her class, she targets her intentions on Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake, The Social Network), a new substitute teacher with an incredibly rich family. Noticing Scott’s taste in women with ample sized chests, Elizabeth decides to get breast enhancement surgery to try to seal the deal. Completely broke, the scrupleless teacher uses her position to raise the money by any means necessary.

Bad Teacher is about as subtle as a text message from Anthony Weiner. The film really wants the audience to know that it’s rated “R” as soon as possible, falling flat in the beginning with jokes that use swear words as their only substance. It does manage to settle down a bit in the 2nd and 3rd acts where most of the comedic endeavors flourish. The film still suffers though throughout from a lack of transitional material and abrupt editing, feeling at times more like a string of sketches woven together. Some commendable child actors in the movie do manage to stand out but were used more to simply appease the plot instead of being an intricate part of it.

The writers, Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg (The Office), style is reminiscent of their very successful sitcom work, but as most TV writers who make the transition find out, it does not work seamlessly into a feature film. Hopefully these lessons will be learned well before the duo is finished with their next project, Ghostbusters III. Big brass stars are given out though for their unyielding portrayal of Elizabeth as an irredeemable character. She does manage to learn some small life lessons, but remains genuine to her crooked nature without any fairy tale epiphanies.

Diaz’s Elizabeth, like 99 percent of the characters in Bad Teacher, is an over the top, cliché characterization. But she rides it out and becomes more believable as the film progresses. As Diaz matures in her career, she seems to be fitting nicely into a stronger female lead instead of just the pretty-face supporting character, emitting rays of personality sunshine. One can see her eventually following in the footsteps of a blooming late career similar to that of Michelle Pfeiffer.

Justin Timberlake, riding the cult following he now has from his heralded hosting jobs on Saturday Night Live, takes his first shot at a role in a full-fledged comedy. Although it’s just a limited performance, Timberlake brings the same humility from his sketch comedy to the role of Scott Delacorte, able to change speeds from dashing and charming to weird and creepy in the blink of boy band. Timberlake actually looks more at home in his movie roles than he ever did in a music video. Although it remains to be seen if he can pilot a film by himself, he should have little problem making an acting career, comedy or otherwise, out of character parts like this.

Playing the antagonist “good” teacher to Diaz’s Elizabeth is Lucy Punch (Take Me Home Tonight) as Amy Squirrel. Even though Amy is a teacher who wants nothing more than to make a difference and educate her students, Punch does a wonderful job of eliciting a definite reaction of animosity toward her character right from her first appearance on screen. The unfortunate facet of Amy is that the script uses her as more of an annoyance instead of exploring some of the more humorous and interesting episodes that are only alluded to from her past.

Russell Gettis (Jason Segal, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and Lynn Davies (Phyllis Smith, The Office) are the closest thing to reality anchors in the story. Segal does not take any monumental risks with his character of a P.E. teacher, inserting his usual lax demeanor and subliminal sarcasm. But in comedy this is not a detractor, as the rule is to stick with what works, and Segal has excelled in all of his comedic roles in film and television by pretty much just playing himself with slight personality tweaks. Smith also follows this mantra as she plays Lynn, a shyer and quirkier version of Smith’s character on The Office who’s so hard up for friends she’ll even take an exploiter like Elizabeth.

Ten years from now people are not going to be reminiscing or quoting lines from Bad Teacher. It’s never going to make anyone’s top-10 list but it shouldn’t make their bottom 10 either. Nor will the characters ever be bronzed as “classic.” But as an R-rated comedy, it does its primary job of using adult language and situations just well enough so it can underachieve and live up to the “C” student that it is.

Story: 5.5
Acting: 7.5
Writing: 6.0
Captivation: 6.5
Replay Value: 6.5

Total = 6.4 out of 10