30 Minutes or Less

Comedies may not be held in the highest regard when it comes to film prestige, but ask any accomplished screenwriter and they’ll most likely tell you that it’s the most difficult genre to triumph. “Funny” is not a switch that can just be flipped on. Unlike drama, romance, or even horror, comedy is more of a skill than it is an emotion. And even when writers and actors who are very proficient in said skill conglomerate on a project, it still does not guarantee success, ie Grown Ups. 30 Minutes or Less doesn’t quite achieve that monumental low, but it’s also certainly not going to be the film that convinces The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences to finally add the yearned after “Best Comedy” category any time soon.

Nick (Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network) is a pizza delivery guy at what must be the last remaining pizzeria on Earth that guarantees delivery in 30 minutes or less. Full of potential, as most delivery guys are, Nick has watched his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari, Parks and Recreation) and Chet’s sister Kate (Dilshad Vadsaria, Greek), whom Nick is also in love with, pass him by in their respective careers. When Nick makes a not-so-routine delivery to a junkyard, he is accosted by Dwayne (Danny McBride, Eastbound and Down) and Travis (Nick Swardson, Grandma’s Boy), two suburban terrorists who make homemade explosives from Internet directions and plot the demise of Dwayne’s father so they can inherit his lottery winnings. Needing fast cash to pay the hitman for the job, Dwayne and Travis bound Nick with an explosives vest and tell him he has to rob a bank and bring back the money before the clock runs out or . . . Boom! Panicked and fearful of remote detonation, Nick cannot go to the police and enlists the help of Chet, whom he has just had a falling out with over a secret relationship with his sister.

This film’s premise is actually not as improbable as it sounds. There have been documented cases where real people have been strapped with explosives and forced to follow a maniac’s demands. However, it’s the execution (more puns to come) of the plot where this film loses its grasp on reality. Not that reality was the targeted goal of director Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) to begin with, but much too calm and nonchalant tones in stressful and dangerous situations are more valuable when clashed with equally over-the-top scenarios, such as a zombie outbreak. When it’s in a “real-world” setting, like in this film, the comedy just seems goofy and unrealistic.

What saves this film from being labeled a complete bomb (there’s another one) are the performances of two of its cast members. Jesse Eisenberg emits his usual “too smart for the room” smugness and he does have good comedic timing, but it’s Aziz Ansari that really demonstrates who’s the professional comedian in the room. Ansari is just naturally funny even if the dialogue isn’t. His speech pattern and emphasis on words really sells some of the jokes and turns a few scenes around that seem to be headed towards self destruction (ding).

The other spotlight is on Michael Pena (Observe and Report) as Chango the hitman. Pena has the uncanny ability to transform from cool, laid-back teddy bear to gangbanging throat ripper in the blink of an eye, and all the while keeps the audience laughing.

Where the real comedy meat and potatoes of this film is advertised is in veteran funny guys Danny McBride and Nick Swardson. Unfortunately, they’re used mostly as a plot device, solely to place Nick and Chet in varying degrees of danger. There are a handful of amusing scenes between the two where ad-libbing may have replaced the script, but for the most part McBride and Swardson are more filler than they are funny. McBride rips himself off with a carbon copying of his Kenny Powers character from Eastbound and Down and Swardson takes his familiar role as the backseat sidekick, which has only weakened film by film ever since his breakout performance as Jeff in Grandma’s Boy. Sadly, a great opportunity was squandered with the duo, as this film provided the perfect outlet for them to break their type cast. A more interesting and funny approach would have been if they switched parts, with Swardson portraying an overbearing and abrasive character and McBride taking on the somewhat smarter, and meek cohort.

30 Minutes or Less does manage to deliver some original and witty dialogue and will probably be a fine addition to many Netflix queues in the coming months, but even with a runtime of only 83 minutes, the film’s title is still an unfortunate, ironic depiction to the extent of comedy you’ll see.

Story: 5.0
Acting: 6.5
Writing: 6.0
Captivation: 5.0
Replay Value: 6.5

Total = 5.8 out of 10

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The complete and total destruction of humanity, not a pleasant thought. Unless of course you’re talking about 100 percent pure movie entertainment! No matter how many times we blow ourselves up, let our technology enslave us or get wiped out by aliens, audiences never seem to tire of a good old fashion apocalypse. Even if its inception is over 40 years old, moviegoers will flock to see that idea reworked in a modern era. The only thing better than a classic end-of-the-world story is a current end-of-the-world story. It seems that script writers have run out of ideas on how to annihilate the human race, so let's go back to the granddaddy of dystopian futures and reboot Planet of the Apes . . . what’s that you say? Tim Burton already did that 10 years ago? Ok then, scratch that. If we can’t have a reboot then how about a prequel, that’s always a sure fire . . . huh? What? That was already done as well in 1972 with Conquest of the Planet of the Apes? Ha! You think you’ve won don’t you? You think there’s no way out. Well no one puts Hollywood in a corner. Behold, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the first “re-prebootquel.” Sounds like a cold and flu medication for computers.

Will Rodman (James Franco, 127 Hours) is a genetic scientist trying to engineer a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. When an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of his ape test subjects happens at the most inopportune time, Rodman’s project is shut down. Fueled by the desire to cure his own father (John Lithgow, Dexter) of the disease, Rodman continues his studies privately with a baby chimp that was unknowingly born to the aforementioned test subject and has seemingly been passed the effects of the experimental drug through genetics. Named Caesar, the chimp’s intelligence evolves at an unprecedented rate and eventually grows beyond Rodman’s control, forcing him to leave Caesar in less than scrupulous care. Not use to being around other apes, Caesar quickly realizes that he is very different from them and must unify his species if they are to ever rise above their diminutive status.

The Planet of the Apes franchise is one of the most loved in sci-fi history. Dating back to the original 1968 timeless classic starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowall, the series actually spawned four sequels in a five-year span that were almost uniformly condemned by critics but loved by the series' cult-like followers. Even though the original’s subsequent chapters hit far below its par, the story of apes evolving and enslaving humans is incredibly captivating, making it especially difficult to turn the channel should a marathon begin on cable television, taking you into the wee hours of the morning and causing a drastic reduction in productivity the following workday . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that.

With the newest chapter in the “Apes” saga, director Rupert Wyatt (The Escapist) intends for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, to be a complete reboot of the series and start a new continuity through anticipated sequels. However, there are many similarities and gratifying homage paid to the original series throughout the film while completely disregarding the Tim Burton 2001 reimagining, which will only upset the same group of people who hold Jar Jar Binks in high regard. Wyatt also managed to somehow capture that intangible and mesmerizing quality the first five films possessed, pushing any concerns about plot hole or character development issues far back in the mind’s eye.

Although, the most substantial facet to “Rise” may not even be fully realized until a decade from now. Much like other mile markers in the industry’s history such as Star Wars, Terminator 2, and The Matrix, Rise of the Planet of the Apes will be looked at as an evolutionary benchmark for CGI. At first sight, the effects seem slightly jarring, but midway through the film the apes begin to look flawless and interact in such a natural way that you almost forget they are computer generated. The depth of the emotion and expression in their faces is quite amazing. Advanced software and digital artists can only take half of the credit though, as Andy Serkis and other motion capture actors are the real essence of the life-like simians. Famous for his other motion capture performances as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings films and as the title character in 2005’s King Kong, the role of the protagonist chimp Caesar ironically evolves Serkis into the first real star in a new breed of actors.

Not that it matters, but there are some human characters in this film as well. While Academy Award nominees James Franco and John Lithgow are certainly nothing to shake a banana at, they might as well have been Taylor Lautne and Eric Roberts. The script uses the human characters as nothing more than plot devices to advance the apes’ story arc. Franco delivers the hallow dialogue with an even more wooden and empty delivery while the story hits the “# Years Later” button so often in the first act that the viewer barely even knows or cares about any of the human characters at all. Resultantly, this creates an even deeper connection with Caesar and the rest of the apes. During a long stretch in the second act, one may wonder if James Franco will even be in the rest of the film at all, but it captures the seclusion and abandonment felt by Caesar perfectly, crystallizing his ensuing actions.

Inarguably, the most iconic moment of the original Planet of the Apes is its legendary ending. Perhaps only a handful of films can ever match that epicness and wisely “Rise” does not even try. But it does create its own very feasible reasons for how a planet ruled by apes comes to fruition, leaving the audience with that patented ominous tone at which the original films were so skillful.

Even with its incredible technical achievements, it is very likely some, if not many, critics will label Rise of the Planet of the Apes as nothing more than another special effects extravaganza containing lousy dialogue, extremely weak characters, and pandering only to its faithful core audience.

So what’s the problem?



Story: 7.0
Acting: 7.0 (Flesh Actors 5.0, Digital Actors 9.0)
Writing: 5.5
Captivation: 8.0
Replay Value: 8.0

Total = 7.1 out of 10