Big Fish Recap 11/25/09 - Iced Down!

The Smell of Victory was in the Air this past Friday night as the Cobra Kai’s took the field in pursuit of another Championship season. We squared off against the Frost looking to continue our 2 game winning streak. “I wanted us to pick up where we left off last game as our bats were on fire and I wanted us to maintain our No Mercy Mantra” Said Capt. Tucci after the game.

The Kai jumped out to an early 2-0 lead and played spectacular defense behind Mad Dog’s stellar pitching effort. Spragues took the Strike First and Strike Hard mantra to a new level when he attempted to sniper off the Frost’s SS after he rounded second too liberally. “This is our house, nobody tests our team, and he did…..So I did what I had to do".” Johnny Blaze had to hold back the upset SS after Spragues drilled him in the back with a warning shot one that would set the tone for our team and deflate any chances of the Frost heating back up. “I just told the guy to “Cool Off” Blaze said calmly after the game.

The Swami was in control of the OF with the help of Capt. Tucci and crew and nothing got by them on this fateful night for the Frost. Regs was back in full effect after he sparked the team’s bats last game after a two game hiatus and even tried to take out the Frost’s scoring effort in the 4th throwing a frozen rope to home that just barely missed.

Koko wore his Don Mattingly underoos this game as he was snatching balls at 1B with reckless abandon and even made a diving catch of an errant pop up close to 2nd Base. “I hear Koko coming and when he is in a zone like he was Friday you just let him take over” Keith said after the game.

The Swami controlled the batting tempo for the Kai’s as he struck relentlessly against the Frost and The Kai posted 7 runs to their 3 in a winning effort.
Ultimately, The Kai’s cooled off the Frost and look to annihilate whomever the Red Bug Lake directors send our way Next Friday in the Playoffs.

On behalf of all Cobra Kai Family Members I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving this week and look forward to returning to the field of battle the following week with everyone.

Big Fish Recap 11/11/2009: Late Game Heroics...Again

No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as Softball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined. Well, the Cobra Kai are finally starting to learn we can’t just walk into Red Bug Lake field and walk away winners just because we are the Cobra Kai.
The team came into our highly anticipated match up with the Goonies ready to erase the memories of our last game where we rallied but came up short in the end. “We didn’t lose last game, we just ran out of time and I want my troops to know we can’t waste any time this game.” Capt. Tucci said before the game.

“It’s hard to win a game in this competitive league, but it’s even harder to lose a game and that is what we did last week, and I was not going to let us drop 2 games in a row “the Swami said after the game. Well, the Kai’s struck first getting on the board in their usual fashion coming out of the gates swinging well and posting a 3 -0 lead to start the game.

Mad Dog was pitching a solid game but the Goonies kept finding small holes and started to chip away at our lead and were singling us to death. The outfield was on full alert as they had to cover more ground than usual as the Goonies were not a powerful team and were going right up the middle with little dink and dunk hits.
The Offense stalled and our savvy veteran Spragues finally demanded the ball in the top of the 4th to set a spark in the team as he took the mound for one inning. “I just felt we were not playing Cobra Kai softball and I needed to let the team know we have to start over were not the friggin Yankees and we aren’t going to be just handed the win every game” Spragues said after the game.

Well, Mission accomplished as this little spark seemed to set-off our bats and we went on an offensive explosion. In the bottom of the 6th Koko ripped a shot to Center field and was the only person standing in the way of a Goonies victory. “I was glad I wore my “Flash” underwear this game because when I got to first I knew that no matter what happened next I needed to cross home plate or we were done” Koko said at the post game press conference. On the next at bat Spragues ripped a double to right field and the Crazy legs of Koko gave everything he had to cross home plate with the tying run giving us life for another inning.

It all came down to the bottom of the7th when we rallied back to cut the deficit to 11-8. Spragues and the Swami did their thing setting the table for a Cobra Kai win. Then in a stroke of genius Capt. Tucci had been saving our secret weapon “Damaso” Gibson for a pinch hit appearance. With the Kai’s down by one Coach Tucci inserted Damaso and he aptly hit a single to score the tying run. On the next at bat Mad Dog himself conjured up another hit and the screams We Win We Win….could be heard throughout the Cobra Kai dug-out.

“I knew we needed this game and I promised the team I would not let them down and I knew we would be victorious at the end fulfilling my Tebow like guarantee” Johnny Blaze said.

Well, the Cobra Kai got back on track beating the Goonies 12-11 in dramatic fashion and look to continue their winning ways against our old rival the Beat Downs under the Friday Night Lights. The team finally gets a late game which with our recent late game heroics might be just what the Swami ordered.

Big Fish Recap 11/4/09 - Amazing Comeback

Strike First, Strike Hard, and No Mercy. The Cobra Kai’s got back on track following our motto last week taking down the East Coast Believers. However, our mantra of No Mercy was shelved as we debated the moral ethics of it eventually deciding to re-instate it. But, I do believe that hesitation carried over into our match-up with Del Taco. We had been gifted delicious bean burritos a few weeks back by Del Taco and we sub consciously returned the favor in the first two innings of our match-up.

The Team was down but not out missing our clean-up hitter Regs and our hot hitting LF Miguel not too mention our team energizer Sully. Forced to play with only 3 outfielders the team was determined not to let it affect our rhythm. As I have said time and time again Momentum can be the difference in a win and a loss. Del Taco came out fired up after fueling up on Bean Burrito’s all day and jumped out to a 7-0 lead in the first inning. Our D was rattled and our bend but not break defense was starting to break after the Beans added another 7 runs in the 2nd. Down 14-0 the evening looked bleak for the Cobra Kai.

I was not about to let my troops go down like that Capt Tucci said at the post game press conference. On August 5th, 2001 the Cleveland Indians trailed the Seattle Mariners 12-0 after just two innings. The Indians rallied back to win and cap off the greatest comeback in MLB history. Koko gathered the team to remind us of that since he remembered so fondly since his Yankees were chasing that great Mariner team that year.

Just like that the Cobra Kai bats started moving. Spragues sparked the team continuing his hot hitting streak into his 40’s. Capt Tucci and his never say die attitude kept things rolling in the 4th stealing second base on a head first dive and scoring two plays later when Koko drove the ball to deep Left Field.

The Swami himself found his groove again and was destroying the ball with the smoothest swing in Red Bug Lake. “I was not going to let the Kai go down like that and especially in front of the largest announced crowd of the year” the Swami said.

The Victory drum was in full force and Del Taco was frozen in fear as the Kai kept mounting run after run fueled by the drum beat. DonJuan reached base three times with his keen eye and solid swing and Figs came through with two huge hits to keep the rally alive. “I love that guy Figs, He is a Yankee fan and I’m a Yankee Fan…..I think this could be the making of a fantastic Bro-Mance” Koko said after the game.

However, the 14 run deficit and playing one man short in the field proved to be too much for the Kai to overcome on this night. “I promise we will not lose another game this year, I will make sure of that Tim Tebow Style” Johnny Blaze said walking away from the field.

All was not lost for the Cobra Kai as we received a much needed visit from Big Daddy Gutierrez at Gators. Richard decided to awaken the Kai by taking the big stage and teaching everyone the dance moves he has learned in the greater Tampa/St. Pete’s area. One can only guess where he has been spending much of his time.

Well, the Cobra Kai’s take the field this Friday night against the Goonies still in contention for another title.

Big Fish Recap 10/29/09 - Victory

Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy…..Right! That is our team motto and we needed to follow through on that in a much needed must win game against the East Coast Believers if we were going to contend once again for a title this year. The team felt confident going into the game with a full roster and boasting a youthful yet 4oth Birthday celebrating Oil Can Spragues back in the line-up after a one game sabbatical.

The team was looking to put away the Believers early and reduce Mad Dog’s ERA since we inflated it a bit during his last outing against the Sharks. However, the thought of “Mercy” had crept into our mindset after our debate on the Dojo and it slowed down the teams play in the first inning. The East Coast Believers said a prayer and they came answered as we had some shaky defense in the first inning and relented a 2 Run lead. However, Capt. Tucci gathered the troops and called on the fans in the stand to get the team amped up and rolling like we are capable of.

With a little help from afar Scott “Smokey” Kluge sent down a ‘Victory Drum” that could be heard beating through ought Red Bug Lake Park and it was just what the team needed but most importantly what the Swami needed to get back that killer instinct.
The Birthday boy himself got the bats started ripping a double to center field and becoming the first player in Cobra Kai history over the age of 40 to record a double. The team rallied after that and the Victory Drum could be felt deep down in our souls. “I was a bit distracted starting the game after witnessing an incredible ping-pong marathon game but once I heard the victory drum it was all business and I knew the Kai’s were ready for a big win” The Swami was quoted with after the game.

Koko wore his Don Mattingly Underoos this game as he was playing a gold glove game at 1B eating everything up hit his way and even gunning down a runner at 2B that decided to test his arm. “I have never seen such intensity from Koko and that is just what the Kai needed” Said Johnny Blaze after the game. Well, the Believers would take out their frustrations on the team as our Hot hitting Left Fielder Miguel Blanco got beamed in the head for turning a double into a triple. However, he is a Cobra Kai so he stayed in the game and kept fighting.

Speaking of taking out frustrations, DonJuan was able to amazingly increase his league leading OBP % to .918 even though he had been the victim of a vicious serve losing a hotly contested Ping-Pong match right before the game 29-27 at the Kai’s Clubhouse. Roundhouse Reger also continued his hot bat punishing the Believers Outfield for 3 Doubles Friday night.

The defense clamped down after a shaky beginning and held the Believers to 2 runs after the Swami got in his groove and began attacking and snagging everything hit to the outfield. “I don’t know what it is about that drum, but every time I heard it I knew something good was going to happen to the team” The Swami said at the post game conference.

Overall, it was a great game for the Kai and put us back on our championship way. However, not all was perfect for the Kai as the Birthday boy himself our 40 year old 3B Spargues got taken down for a strikeout in the 5th inning. “I know my eyes aren’t deceiving me, it’s just that I started to get worried about that pie in the face moment I was scared was coming and I shifted my attention too much” Spragues said after the game. Well, the team did take mercy on the 40 year old and decided not to unleash the pie on him since Capt. Tucci was worried about hurting Spargues already questionable vision.

Well, the Team looks to continue our winning ways this Friday against the Del Taco Beans.

Big Fish Recap 10/21/09 - NO MERCY!

NO MERCY!!!

The Debate has been raging in my head ever since I saw our schedule this week. The Win less East Coast Believers Church.

Do we continue the Cobra Kai motto of Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy on these poor just trying to spread the good word of the Lord church movers or do we take it a notch down?

My initial thought is to go at them full speed ahead. I am just not wired to let up in an athletic competition. I want to go all out or else it is not worth it. However, coming off our drubbing by our newest hated team THE Sharks....I feel like we should have a different perspective?

That was one of the ugliest games I have ever taken part of. And for Elliot, Spragues, and Regs I will spare the three of you any details. By the way....Sprague's I think You now lead the team in ERA after you conveniently were AWOL for the past game pulling your own Mad Dog Move.

Regardless, I believe it was more a matter of us playing not to lose and just waiting to get shell shocked which eventually happened. As, I have always said sometimes in life it's usually a matter of perspective. If you look for something hard enough you will usually find it. I think we were looking for a beat down and we were not our usual team because we were expecting an annihilation and that is what we got. Just like whenever you go out to dinner with a person of a certain religious descent........I mean a South Floridian.......I mean a food critic they are usually walking into the restaurant waiting to critique and break down the service and/or food.

Well, that food and or waiter does not have a chance in hell. Any place you go you can find something wrong......and if you look for it hard enough you will find it. This Cheese is not melted perfectly......My Lettuce is not green enough.....these fries are not crispy enough.....etc....etc...etc....I pounded my glass of water immediately when I sat down and the waiter took a whole two minutes before he noticed.....Brutal!

The same goes for sports. If you go into a game thinking we are going to get smoked, well the first thing that goes wrong just sets the tone and the game starts to implode. Did you ever notice in the old days that always happened to us? We would have that one inning where one thing would go wrong and then our collective heads would start to hang and we just expected a bunch of things to go wrong and they almost always did leading to that 11 run inning we would give up. How come we would give up all those runs in one inning and then hardly any the rest of the game? Well, Momentum can work both for you and against you.

Usually, we would come roaring back and gain our own momentum driven inning as well. I think once the Swami diagnosed this problem he helped us conquer that demon and his absence Friday may have lead to that, but that is besides the point. Maybe it was a lack of team community on the dojo and that is largely my fault for not perpetuating more discussions on the dojo. But we had no life from the get go Friday. I know the Sharks are the Sharks and we can hate on them all we want which is entirely debatable subject. However, do we remember that feeling this Friday and take out our anger on the Church group or play with empathy since we know how much that game sucked?

Personally, I thought we needed to loosen up and just try to have fun Friday and score a few runs and make small strides. However, the East Coast Believers have had happen to them every game this year what happened to us Friday. So, My question to the Dojo is do we go at them full force? Yes, it is their job to stop us. And, I felt the same way Friday. At first I wanted to make an errant throw that hit one of the Sharks but then I remembered I am a Man and it is my job to stop them not theirs to give in. But at some point enough is enough? But what is that point? That is my question.

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Big Fish Recap 10/7/09 - Back On Track

Well, in case you didn’t know by now the Cobra Kai’s motto is Strike First, Strike Hard, and No Mercy. The team operates best when we follow that one simple message. “I pulled the troops together and told them we need to re-assert ourselves after last week’s travesty and pull it together” the Swami said after the game.

Mad Dog’s family decided to give us a another shot and they came to watch him record his 232 all time win pulling him into 3rd place all time at Red Bug Lake park. Well, He came out hurling stifling Tetra Tech hitters all night holding them to 1 run and improving his team leading ERA to 4.82. Oil Can Sprague’s has the next closest ERA with his holding steady at 19.6. Well, the Mad Dog didn’t want to leave anything to chance so as our leadoff hitter reached base to start the game the Mad Dog wanted to set the tempo early and demanded a steal to get the game going. Well, Keith stole second successfully and it worked by getting in the other pitchers head forcing him to walk 4 of the next 6 batters and that’s when you could feel all the momentum swing in our favor.

Everyone reached base on this night and the team was crushing the ball like we are so capable of on a nightly basis. “I was getting scared for their fielders we were hitting it so well. I was on second base when Regs crushed one past me and I swear I could hear the seams whirring in the wind just like the sweet sound of a Johnny Blaze rant” Spragues said after the game.

Capt. Tucci was resting his tender foot but that didn’t stop him from coaching one of his finest victories yet. I instructed the team to go for the knockout punch right away and that is exactly what we did. The first inning outburst proved to be too big of a blow for Tetra Tech to overcome as they fought like a wobbly bleary eyed prize fighter after we landed a huge right hook to start the bout. The game was sealed for our batters in the bottom of the 4th when Sully ripped a two out double to bring the score to 14-1 and taking every last breath out of the Tetra Tech Jets.

The team was missing our veteran mainstay at 1st Base Koko whom was traveling down south for a scouting mission so the team was unsure as to how the defense was going to hold up. However, despite missing Mr. America Koko himself, the fielding was spectacular behind a great outing from Mad Dog. Johnny Blaze was up to usual patrolling of the left side of the field and the team turned two crushing double plays. Blaze even perfected his rolling throw out to second base.

Overall, it was one of our best games of the year as we had a total team effort and took down Tetra Tech improving our record to 3-2 and looking to claim our second title in three seasons. DonJuan did extend his on base streak to 18 games and the team looked great.

The Kai’s also got back on track at Gators as this is where Capt. Tucci stepped it up and help the team put down a record breaking 42 pitchers to get us back on our winning ways even at Gators.

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Big Fish Recap 9/22/09 - Travesty

Strike First, Strike Hard, and No Mercy. That is our team motto and that is exactly what the Cobra Kai did this past Friday night at Red Bug Lake Field. After falling to the PHI to start the season the team was hungry for a victim to unleash on. Before the game the Swami gathered the troops and told them to play like the Cobra Kai’s are capable of and follow our motto and forget about last week.

Well, the team took that literally and jumped out to a 7 run lead in the first inning as we batted through the order and the runs started to mount. “I wore my Punisher underoos this game cause the team needed to punish someone after last week” Koko said after the game. Capt. Tucci tried to clot the bleeding for the Intimidated Intimidators by asking Koko to take off his punisher underoos and telling the team to ease up a bit after we posted a 14-1 lead in the 2nd inning.

However, the wiley veteran Spragues still reeling from Mad Dog’s ducking of the PHI to preserve his ERA cried “Travesty” and told us not to let up. “A general rule I have in life is to not make a mockery of the game and when Spragues told me to step it back up, that’s all I could do” Said Johnny Blaze. Spragues would not let the Kai ease up and even completed the play of the day picking off an Intimidator running to third whom clearly was shell shocked by the ass whooping the Kai’s were laying on his team.

On Offense the team was hitting on all cylinders. Regs was back at clean-up doing his usual damage picking up right where he left off. DonJuan jumped right back up to the league lead upping his OB% to .957 and Sully even stepped up and showed the Intimidators a thing or two on the base path. “After tasting victory so graciously the last two seasons I wanted it so bad again, that I stopped off and gave a homeless guy 2 loafs of bread on my way to the game to bring Karma the Kai’s way…..I guess it worked” Sully said after the game.

Overall, it was a total team effort as everybody contributed to the 17-2 Annihilation of the Intimidators. However, the team did post a team low 9 pitchers at Gators as everyone was saving themselves for next week.

The Kai’s will be taking the field without Capt. Tucci whom will be scouting some players in NY this week. Damaso also will not be available as he pulled a hamstring jumping up to curse out the Yankees after they got it handed to them twice by the lowly Mariners this week.

Looking forward to keeping the momentum going against the Swim N Fun at 8:30!!!

Big Fish Recap 9/17/09 - Can't Win 'Em All

The Band is back together and ready for another championship run. With the Swami back and the Cobra Kai’s back at full strength the team was ready to start the season off on a tear. However, a last second scratch from the starting rotation for Mad Dog left the ball in “Oil Can” Sprague’s hands and his savvy veteran crafty work. Sprague’s dueled it out with the heft heater CC Bathia of the PHI whom pitched a gem himself and helped himself out at the plate as well.

It has yet to be determined what exactly PHI stands for…….according to Wikipedia it could either be a symbol for a Greek fraternity or a Thai Demon. I am leaning toward a Thai demon because this game will haunt us for some time as the PHI SS and pitcher put a curse on us and got inside our heads from the beginning. As is the case for the momentum driven Kai we stalled in our first game back since the gut wrenching loss in the championships last season. “Our bats just never got rocking and rolling and I intend to change that by setting the pace and not allowing anything but our best from every hitter this Friday” The Swami said at the post game news conference.

The PHI got on the board early as they sprayed hits all over the field attacking every open piece of dirt and/or grass they could find. Our defense was solid and provided the few highlights we had as Sprague’s doubled off some unsuspecting runners with heads up fielding and the Swami was back patrolling CF with his deadly cannon.

However, our bats just never put together that rally that sparks our momentum. Perhaps missing Roundhouse Reger or perhaps our apprehension from the shell shock we received in the final championship game was to blame. Either way, I don’t suspect the Intimidators will be let off the hook as lightly this Friday night. The Kai are coming ready to play and rumor has it the Tomahawk Chopper himself JW has been called up for one last appearance before heading off to serve his country.

The Kai battled till the end but without a spark at the plate we just fell short in the runs necessary to compete. Well, in the immortal words once again of the great literary poet Mr. Forest Gump…..”That’s all I have to say about that.”

Only time will tell…….but the intimidators best watch out this Friday night under the lights.

Top 10 Greatest Movie Franchises

#10 – National Lampoon’s Vacation
The only comedy franchise to break into the top 10. The "Vacation" series started in 1983 with the original and has since spawned off 3 box office sequels. The total gross of all 4 films is over $218 million domestically, which is very good for a comedy series. The weak link in the chain was the second installment, European Vacation. However the series bounced back in a big way with the third and most successful film of the franchise, 1989’s Christmas Vacation. Christmas Vacation grossed over $70 million at the box office and $35 million in video rentals. But even more importantly, the film has become an official holiday classic and is played on network and cable television every Christmas season. It has even been argued as the best Christmas movie of all time.






#9 - Pirates of the Caribbean

Before you scream, “what!” You might want to know that the three Pirates of the Caribbean films are all in the top 40 worldwide grossing films of all time, with the second and third installments landing at #3 and #6 respectively. The trilogy has brought in a total of over $2.6 billion worldwide, second only to the Lord of the Rings saga. Now of course money does not equal great filmmaking. You only have to look as far as the Transformers movies to see that. But when a series brings in over $2 billion in revenue at the box office alone, it can not be easily ignored either. The “Pirates” films are not just inflated summer blockbusters with big special effects. They are very well written with an amazing cast of actors portraying equally amazing characters. Johnny Depp, easily one of the greatest actors to ever live, was never really a mainstream type of guy before his creation of Captain Jack Sparrow. Fortunately or unfortunately for Depp, there’s no going back now. Jack Sparrow has become one of the most popular characters in Disney history. So much so that the ride at Walt Disney World has been updated to include his character. No doubt many future generations of visitors to the theme park will make the grievous mistake that the films premiered before the ride.






#8 - The Matrix


No one in their right mind would ever argue that 1999’s The Matrix is one of the greatest sci-fi films ever made. It is sometimes referred to as “the new Star Wars,” due to the fact that after Star Wars came out in 1977, it forever changed how special effects were created in films. The Matrix redrew that line as it was the first film to use the now often mimicked “bullet time” in a live-action movie. The controversy of the trilogy comes with its polarizing sequels. It’s hard to find film buffs that thought “Reloaded,” and “Revolutions,” were just mediocre. Usually the reaction is, “I f##g hated those pieces of s##t,” or simply, “they were genius.” It happens that the latter reaction is the more appropriate. The sequels baffled many people, so of course the quick reaction is to pan something you don’t understand. The pendulum also swung the other way as well, with muddy over-intelectualized explanations involving the Architect scene in “Reloaded,” and religious overtures when describing what happened to the character of Neo in “Revolutions.” The films are actually quite simplistic, but they use symbolism in an ingenious way. Every single character in the matrix itself is simply a symbol for a piece of software or hardware that is inside every common household computer. Now if you’re not computer literate, it is easy to see how some of the characters or parts of the story might cause a lot of confusion, especially since some of the main focal points in the story revolve around some not-so-common computer knowledge. That being said, The Matrix Trilogy will forever be one of the most imaginative and groundbreaking sci-fi sagas in history.






#7 - Star Trek


What can you say about the Star Trek franchise? 12 films, over $1 Billion just in domestic gross, and a new found beginning for the series with the latest reboot installment. Which by the way took in more money than any of the previous 11 chapters. The Star Trek franchise also has the incredible distinction of its first film, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, almost unanimously being panned as the worst film in the series. Star Trek is an American institution and the patriarch of science fiction. It has even inspired many everyday gadgets that we take for granted, not to mention the influence it’s had on the space program. Gene Roddenberry’s vision of the future back in 1966 remains as the utopian society which human kind hopes to one day turn into a reality.






#6 - The Godfather


Parts I and II are complete masterpieces. Some of the greatest American cinema ever made. Francis Ford Coppala’s genius translation of Mario Puzo’s novels is considered by some to be the greatest movies ever made. Both parts I and II took home the Oscars for “Best Picture.” Part II is also the first sequel to ever be nominated and win the award. If not for the horrific tragedy that is The Godfather Part III, this franchise would be impenetrable to criticism. But I guess Coppala got an offer he couldn’t refuse.






#5 – The Lord of the Rings


The highest worldwide grossing trilogy of all time. Millions love it. I don’t. But it still has to be given the respect it deserves. The LOTR fans are as passionate as Trekkers and Star Wars fanatics. All 3 films were nominated for “Best Picture” at the Academy Awards with part 3 taking home the Oscar. It became only the second film sequel to ever win the award (Godfather II) and the first ever third installment to be nominated as well as win. The trilogy was also showered with special effects, sound, and editing awards which were very deserved. To each his own, I guess people love the combination of hobbits, battles, and a “Ten Commandments” amount of walking.






#4 – Indiana Jones


It’s probably a hands down, no brainer to be #1 on this list if George Lucas doesn’t pull a Washington Wizards and ruin the entire legacy. "Raiders," "Doom," and "Crusade" are as near perfection as a trilogy can get. The characters develop seamlessly, the stakes increase just the right amount and the writing keeps the tone like Beethoven’s’ piano. It’s like the greatest 3-course meal prepared by a master chef has just been served, but then out of nowhere the chef leaps from the kitchen with a blowtorch and burns down the damn restaurant before you can get to the desert. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls is by no exaggeration one of the worst movies ever made. Some, including myself, regard it as the absolute worst film in history due to the height from which it fell. Maybe we can all take a quote from the #3 franchise and refer to it only as “Thou film whose title we dare not speak.”





#3 – Harry Potter


It’s still 2 films short of completion but the "Harry Potter" series is already the most successful movie franchise of all time where dollars are concerned. Converting such widely known material into 8 feature films is no small feat. Since the source material is so popular, the films are under immense scrutiny to stay true to the novels. Of course there’s no way to shove everything from the 7 books into the films, even with each being over 2 hours and the last book split into 2 films. It’s inevitable that some hard core fans are going to complain about this scene or that scene being left out, but over the long haul the "Potter" films have appeased the large percentage of its fans and recruited brand new ones that have never even cracked open one of the books. Some of the films are more exciting than others, but none are even close to disappointing. The characters are literally growing up before audiences’ eyes as the production company has done an amazing job of keeping the cast together. The writing, acting and special effects are all top notch and even with four different directors, the story telling has remained seamless throughout the saga. The only story left to tell in the franchise is the last book “Deathly Hallows,” which will be split into parts I and II. The ending to a franchise can make or break its legacy, but there’s no reason to think the writers, directors and producers will deviate from the formula that has already brought the franchise worldwide success.






#2 – Star Wars

From the instance you hear or read the title, John Williams’ composition starts to play in your head. Star Wars is easily the most well-known movie franchise of all time. Redefining special effects in Hollywood, the original Star Wars Trilogy was the template from which all other sci-fi movies would be made for 20 years. Considering inflation, 1977’s Star Wars is second only to Gone with the Wind in terms of ticket sales. Episodes IV, V, and VI have been dissected, re-released, discussed and quoted more than any other films in the history of cinema. The three films defined a generation and kept its extremely loyal fans on the edge of their seats for 16 years until Episode I: The Phantom Menace would be released in 1999. Ironically the same year the The Matrix redefined special effects just as Episode IV did 22 years earlier. Although heavily criticized as sub par films, Episodes I, II, and III never really had a fair chance. There was no way to ever top the first three films as they were so groundbreaking, anything Lucas released would be immediately compared to as inferior. Episodes I and II definitely had writing and character development problems, but lost in the all the tomato throwing was the achievement of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Episode III was a very good "Star Wars" film, and in a moment of truth some hardcore fans will even admit they liked it more than Return of the Jedi. Perhaps the most successful element the new trilogy was able to clarify was the chilling and calculated way the character of The Emperor was able to take control of a free and democratic republic and tear it apart from the inside. The material was very timely with real-world situations that concerned people all over the world and showed how fear can be a greater weapon than any gun, bomb, or lightsaber. The least of all things George Lucas is known for is an ability to write great dialogue, however it’s a line spoken by Natalie Portman’s character of Senator Amidala in Episode III that I personally believe is one of the most chilling, poignant, and important lines in any film ever produced . . .

“So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.”

#1 – Rocky


It hasn’t made the most money, it wasn’t the most critically acclaimed, it’s not even the most well known. And that’s exactly how Rocky Balboa would have liked it. Rocky is timeless. The quintessential underdog story to end, or begin, all underdog stories. Although not known to be a masterpiece, many people forget it was the script written by Sylvester Stallone himself that brought Rocky to life and won the Academy Award for “Best Picture” in 1976. Rocky Balboa is perhaps the most likeable and cared-about character in movie history. The story of an over-the-hill, past-his-prime boxer who gets a million-to-one shot at the greatest title in the world, captivated people from all walks of life. The six sequels, with the exception of part 5, are all solid films. But even with the misstep of Rocky V, the franchise has the highest replay value of any that came before or after. It’s not even a contest, when a Rocky movie is on television you’re watching at least 10 minutes of it, no matter how many times you’ve seen it before. No movie can match the raw inspirational power the Rocky series possess. Those famous steps in Philadelphia have been run on more times than an Olympic track. Everyone starts to think one-handed pushups are easy. And in the most extreme case of over confidence in the history of the world, Caucasians actually believed they could box. Now that’s inspiration. How fitting for Rocky that on this list he would be pitted against legions of pirates, mafia hitmen, bebe guns, magical rings, wizards, bullwhip toting anthropologists, Jedi mind tricks and lightsabers. However, none of those can seem to contend with “the eye of the tiger.”







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Big Fish Recap 9/2/09 - Sweeep

Every Championship team faces a seminal moment in their season when they either take the turn towards a championship or fold under the pressure. Well, the Cobra Kai came upon that challenge this past Friday night with a crucial double header that could either make or break the season.

The first challenge of the night was avoiding the pinchers of peril being thrown at us by the Goonies Squad. The Kai’s struck first and went right at the Goonies posting 3 runs to start the night and trying to set the pace for the evening. Mad Dog was on his game stifling Goonies hitters all night and the defense behind him was solid. Johnny Blaze was patrolling the infield and making sure the Goonies did not slide anything by them and Capt. Tucci and his crew were doing the same in the Outfield.

The Goonies tried to spark their offense by pulling out the old “Slick Shoes” from their wacky bench coach Data but it backfired as one of their own hitters was their only victim. In the bottom of the 4th they pulled out the slick shoes and tried to take Koko out but it just so happened that it took out their own player as he came tumbling into Koko and first base head first and had to be carried off in a stretcher. This slowed the momentum of the Cobra Kai a bit but we picked it back up off some solid hitting lead by Blaze’s strikes and a relentless attack from everybody. Goonies never say Die….but when they face the Cobra Kai…they cry for mercy. Eventually, the game was called as we had no Mercy on the Goonies beating them down 16-5 in six innings leading Koko to yell…….”Andy…..Your....Such…A Goooonie”!!!!!!

The Captain had to quickly gather the troops and get them to the next field where we had a date with destiny. The Kai were set to square off with our Rivals and league leading Beat Downs to rumble for First Place honors. “I knew this was going to be a do or die type game and that’s why I wore my Wonder Twins pin under my uni tonight because if we were going to go for the sweep we would have to UNITE as a Team to overcome this immense challenge set before us” Koko said after the game.
Well, Once again the Cobra Kai struck first and this time we struck hard batting through the order and posting 5 runs in the first, absolutely stunning the Beat downs and taking the wind right out of their arrogant sails. “I could feel the momentum flowing through us” Sully said after the first inning.

The Beat Downs came right back in the 3rd and tied things up with some clutch hitting and turned this game into an all out war. Mad Dog was trying to stifle their hitters but they kept finding every open piece of field they could spraying hits all over the place. Regs finally figured out their hitting pattern and started to predict where they were going which helped the right side of the field contain them better. With the game tied in the bottom of the fifth Triple R….Regs laid into an inside pitch and drove it deep to left field and had it sail right over Brett Favre’s glove out of Red Bug Lake Park for a HUGE 3 Run HR to spark the Kai’s back into the game. “That was exactly what the Dr. ordered said DonJuan after Regs HR sparked a Huge Kai rally lead by DonJuan battling through pain and increasing his league leading OB % to .979.
The Kai’s new Recruit Miguel also found his rhythm looking eerily like JW with his tomahawk chop that proved to be deadly tonight chopping his way to 3 hits right over the LC fielders head and just destroying their defense.

The teams battled back and forth and faced off in the most intense matchup of the Kai’s season battling to extra innings where we could either fold or keep fighting and prove ourselves once and for all. All seemed to be lost for the Kai in the top of the 14th when the team was battling fatigue and dehydration. The Beat downs seemed in control when they loaded the bases with no outs and were looking for the knockout punch. But then out of nowhere a screaming grounder found its way into Sprague’s glove and he turned a miraculous Double play that gave the Cobra Kai’s the confidence and the game changing momentum we needed dearly. “When that ball came flying at me, I could not believe my eyes what just happened and I knew I had to use my plastic man legs to stretch to save the DP” Koko said after stretching for the ball to complete our best defensive relay of the season.

However, the game was not over yet. The Beat Downs battled back and once again loaded the bases with two outs and down by one. The temperature was rising and the intensity was at an all time high. Would the Kai’s fold? Sully, called a time out and told everyone to simmer down….I just wanted everyone to know we can do this and the beer will be that much better if we pull out this win.”

Then a strike into left field and something unusual happened a sprinkler went off and it seemed to message to us….cool down….you got this. The game does not stop for anyone or any sprinkler and we kept going. The next play Mad Dog jammed the Beat down and they hit a line drive at Miguel who pulled it in to end the game………giving us a much needed 15-14 win jetting us into the playoff push.

“That was an amazing win and it proved a lot about the mental and physical toughness of our guys tonight, and I don’t know what else to say other than….Let’s Slam a beer” Capt Tucci said as he walked away from the post game press conference.

Wow…..it was an exciting night for the Cobra Kai’s. We overcame our demons and look forward to defending the title heading into the playoffs this Friday Night under the Lights. See You Then!

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

What makes a great “popcorn flick?” It’s not just big action scenes, hi-tech special effects, or campy dialogue. It also does not mean the film is automatically written off as a shallow piece of work without any real depth to it. A truly classic “popcorn flick” is actually something of a rarity. A perfect storm of components must fuse together and, more often than not, simmer for a few years before truly knowing whether a film deserves the label “popcorn flick.” And knowing is half the battle. You see what I did there?

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra should be fast tracked to being labeled one of the classic “popcorn flicks” of this decade. In fact, it’s been quite a while since a pure-bread film of this nature was made with such precise calculation. However, if you are a hard-core G.I. Joe canon fanatic, you should strap two of the largest toy vehicles you own to your feet and roll far, far away from the theater. Director/writer Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) took many liberties with the G.I. Joe legacy from the cartoon and comic books. Usually this would be a grave and unforgivable offense in the highest of geek courts, but not with G.I. Joe. The reason being is that G.I. Joe started off as just a toy. It then later became a promotional comic book and the very popular cartoon series. Now don’t ask what section of the rule book this clause is in because I’m not even sure where to find the rule book itself, but if a property does not start off as a written story then much more leeway is given to future adaptations where canon is concerned. That’s not to say it would be just fine if Sommers decided to make Snake Eyes a yappy teenage girl or give Destro a mohawk, but nuances like a character's age or blood relations can be forgiven if not all together ignored. Even the popular cartoon series, which is the most memorable for nostalgic fans of the genre, did not follow the storylines or characters’ backgrounds from the comic books that preceded it.

This film does a fantastic job of setting the table right from the opening scenes. It lets the viewer know what the rules of this reality are and what’s in the realm of possibilities for the characters. Even more impressive, it sticks to those rules throughout the entire film, something that is overlooked in a lot of today’s science fiction. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is an over-the-top and entertaining film based on a 1980’s cartoon and it never forgets it.

Another accolade for Sommer in this film is he accentuates what made G.I. Joe popular in the first place. It’s all about the vehicles and Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow. The movie is full of uber hi-tech vehicles and weapons that made the toy line so popular back in the 1980’s. Also a good portion of the film focuses on the most popular Joe, Snake Eyes (Ray Park, Star Wars: Episode I, X-Men) and his constant battle with his arch-nemesis Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee, Hero). If there were any part of G.I. Joe's history that could absolutely not be altered in any way, it would be the character of Snake Eyes. And to Sommers credit, he produced the truest version of the character that would even impress that kid on the block that had every single action figure, vehicle and headquarters set up in their basement at all times.

An easy plot, quick explanations, bad dialogue and shallow character development all work as components of this film instead of plaguing it. This again is a credit to how Sommers set the table when the film opens. The actors, although none of them really stand out, all seemed to dive head first into the material and take the characters for what they are. To their credit, none of the performers tried to make their character into something deeper or more complex than they had to be. This all cumulates to what may be the most impressive quality the film has to offer. That being the feeling of the popular cartoon brought to life. Only now it includes some surprisingly graphic violence, which should appease its now much older fan base. In addition, there are a few pop-culture catch phrases inspired by the G.I. Joe franchise that will definitely put a smile on the face of loyal fans.

Most film critics will no doubt crucify this film. It might even deserve some of the more harsh reviews that it inspires. Because as a pure film, the only awards G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra could possibly win would come MTV or Nickelodeon. However, it just might be one of those films a father shares with his son to show him what was cool back in his day. And for this film, perhaps that is the other half of the battle.

Story: 6.5
Acting: 6.0
Writing: 6.5
Captivation: 7.5
Replay Value: 9.0

Total: 7.1

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Big Fish Recap 8/11/2009: The Kai is Back!

The Swami Was Back in Action.

After stumbling to our first loss in defense of the Championship the Cobra Kai vowed not to let another one slip away Friday Night. The Swami was called in to help get the Team back on our championship pace after it was learned that we would be without Capt. Tucci due to conflicts with his schedule.

I knew the troops needed me and that is What the Swami does, he saves the day. “I have taught these guys all they need to know, and now all they have to do is execute. However, that does not mean the Swami will abandon his troops, I am there when they need me” Swami said after the game. With Capt. Tucci out and the team reeling from the loss of Mikey Lemieux and Doc Gutierrez from last season’s championship run and add to that Mad Dog was scratched from the lineup with an inflammation in his pitching arm, the Kai seemed to be in trouble. But…..No Fear in the Dojo as the “Big Easy” AKA the Swami himself showed up cloaked in Black and ready to save the day once again.

It didn’t really matter whom the opponent was on this fateful Friday night as the Kai were ready for some revenge after falling to the Beat Downs in Mikey Lemieux’s Swan Song tribute game. As is usual fashion the Cobra Kai jumped out to an early lead posting 4 runs in the 1st inning and running straight through the lineup to start the game. “You could really feel the momentum flowing through the team right from the start, I love that feeling….it reminds me of the first time I Scored with the ladies” Said Sully referring to his first score downtown a memorable 2 years ago.

Speaking of Scoring, that is exactly what the Kai’s did from there on out. The Momentum was working in our favor and we just continued to stroke the ball “RoundHouse Reger said. Reger came a mere 8 inches short of belting a Ginormous HR over the Left Field fence for the second game in a row. “It looked fair to me, said an anonymous fan but unfortunately Blue declared it foul. Swami set the pace for the offense going 4-4 with 6 Runs batted in mercilessly attacking the right side again until they finally had to put the Swami shift on and bring reinforcements to the right side to help out. “I just try to stroke it every game, whatever I can to get behind my team” The Swami said in an eerily Richard Gutierrez like statement.

The Batting order was adjusted slightly and Koko felt the juice flowing through him after being moved up in the order to help punch in DonJuan who continues to lead the league with his ever growing .987 On Base %. Meanwhile, Sully also responded with a huge stroke lasered over the Infield knocking in 2 runs and Busting the hopes of the Ball Busters.

The Busters were behind the 8 ball from the beginning and “Oil Can” Spragues making his Cobra Kai pitching debut was not about to let them in the game putting forth a crafty performance holding them to 5 runs on 2 hits. Behind “Oil Can” was a solid defensive effort even with Johnny Blaze playing with a busted up throwing hand. Blaze jammed his right hand in a botched Miyagi Swipe where he appeared to be safely in at third but once again Big Blue felt otherwise and what he says goes. My hand went numb pretty much the next inning but I wasn’t going to walk off that field on my teammates as We wanted that victory too much. Johnny battled through the pain and was even able to turn a double play in the 6th to end the Busters rally.

“I spent a few extra minutes in the Red Sun room before the game channeling our power and it worked, I only wish we had a double header last Friday as I sensed we would have annihilated anyone in our path” Koko said after the game right before a limo picked him up to be whisked off to a prior engagement that prohibited him from joining in the post game festivities at Gators.

Even without the Captain, Koko, and Keith word is the Kai were still able to put down 37 pitchers and proclaim victory at Gators.

The Kai look to continue their streak this Friday Night Under the Lights in a rematch with the Ball Busters and Evalutest getting under way at 7:30.

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Kluge Chronicles - 2/25/09

Let me holla at you all for a few minutes. This is the first but not the last of my rants. For all of you who know me, you will appreciate and understand where I’m coming from. For those of you who don’t know me, you may think I sound like an ass that wants to hear himself. So What!! And Blaze, No, this is not a Gobots version of your “Blaze is Burning”. The difference is you really are mad at the things you speak about. I simply did not understand the situation or over thought it. I get raging mad, bitch and rant but then I get better in a few minutes and forget about the situation.

This column is very therapeutic for me because it allows me to channel out all the negativity that built up inside be from the past week or month. I thought this blog would help me out but no one acknowledges my comments that I make except for Koko and Keith. I write some funny stuff but I guess it’s not good for the lot of you reading. And who is this Regger guy?? I know I never met you and I’ve asked Keith about you who’s mentioned you are a friend of his brother’s and you play on the team, but I’ve tried to reach out to you a couple of times and you ignore me. Dude, what’s the deal. You and Koko are the only ones on this site that are the smartest and know everything? I’m not asking you out on a date but I feel somewhat like I know you just from writing on this blog. Show a brotha some love.

For the rest of you, do I have to wait a whole week to find out if the Cobra Kai’s won or not? I have a life but I want to know the result. This gives me an 85% chance of guessing the right answer as of now. Can someone please post up the result ASAP? You know you all go home after Gators and get on the PC.

Anyways, life is too short to get all worked up, but I feel damn good to be able to write whatever I want. My therapist tells me I should do it more often. But that’s all for now. Keep it real fellas.

"You look at a guy who's being brave. He's afraid, or he wouldn't be brave. If he isn't afraid, he's stupid."
- Joe Torre
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The Harry Potter series of films is coming to a close over the next few years. Fans have watched Daniel Radcliffe grow up on screen as the “chosen one” through 6 feature films based on the novels by J.K. Rowling. In the latest movie installment to the series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, audiences are in store for an intensity jolt as Harry is forced to mature faster than even a fictional character can be expected.

Harry is conflicted about going back to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft for another year after the death of his godfather Sirius Black, not to mention all of the expectations that have been thrown upon his shoulders. His decision is made for him when Headmaster Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) tells Harry that he needs him to carry out a very special assignment. Also, Harry decides to take up potions class again since it is no longer being taught by Professor Snape (Alan Rickman), whom he does not get along with. During the first class, Harry realizes that his textbook has many helpful notes written in the margins by its previous owner, The Half-Blood Prince.

As soon as this film begins you can feel the extra weight it carries. The mood is darker, the scenes are more intense and there is an absence of innocence that was very tangible in the previous films. The story also feels grander than before as the evil Death Eaters have begun to tear apart the human world under the command of Lord Voldemort.

The central focus of the story is the evolution of the relationship between Dumbledore and Harry. The student/teacher affiliation matures into more of a friend/colleague alliance, as Dumbledore knows that the fate of the world rests with Harry’s ability to defeat Lord Voldemort. The dialogue is well written and even better executed by Radcliffe and Gambon. There is plenty of levity in this film, however it is reserved for scenes not featuring this duo.

Daniel Radcliffe does a masterful job of portraying the anger Harry has bottled up inside himself due to the death of Sirius Black. Harry does not rant and rave, but he carries the anger in his eyes and lack of patience. In order to show just how heavy the weight is on Harry’s shoulders to save the world from evil, there isn’t much room in the spotlight for his friends. It would have been nice to get more screen time for them as they are all very talented actors and interesting characters, but this film would have to be 4 hours long to do so.

Overall this film sets the stage nicely for the final chapter of the story, which will be split into two films. However it does make an undeniable folly concerning the title character. Throughout the past five films, Harry’s abilities have intensified. But in this film he not only hits a brick wall concerning his mastery as a wizard, he takes a step back. It seems like just about anyone can take Potter down, even foes that he held his own against in the previous film. Perhaps the objective was to show Harry’s lack of focus due to all of the angst he is feeling about the loss of his godfather and the trials that await him. That being said, it was still a gross oversight to not somewhat further his powers. Being weak and uncoordinated was fine in the first four films, but if he really is “the chosen one” the character needs to install some confidence in his abilities and start demanding respect from his enemies. With only one story left to tell, Potter’s magic is more reminiscent of Mickey than it is Merlin.

Story: 8.0
Acting: 7.5
Writing: 7.5
Captivation: 8.5
Replay Value: 7.0

Total = 7.7

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The G.O.A.T. 5 - LP '09 Draft

Top 5 Most likely events to take place at the 2009 Lombardi's Party Draft.

1.

Koko will yell at someone and call them a fucknut.

2.

Juan will draft 12 players from the U.

3.

Goat will have the best draft, (as usual).

4.

Some schmuck is gonna take a QB in the first round.

5.

Double S asks to see Koko's computer to find out who ESPN says is the next best available even though Koko specifically told everyone that wasn't allowed.

(This will inevitably precede number 1 on this list)

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Blaze Is Burning 7/10/09

YES, BLAZE IS BURNING!!THIS STATE IS TURNING INTO A PRESSURE COOKER..LOTS OF UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE STUCK IN 90-100 DEGREE TEMPERATURES BATTLING FOR A JOB THAT REALLY IS NOT THERE. STIMULUS MONEY BEING SPENT AND UNREGULATED BY EVERYONE WHO HAS ACCESS TO IT...I THINK MC HAMMER HAS A ROLE IN THE ALLOCATION OF FUNDS...I SWEAR TO EVERY DEITY AND FALSE GOD THAT I WILL RIP OUT THE TURNING LIGHTS AND SIGNALS IN EVERYONE'S CAR WHO FEEL THAT THEY HAVE NO REASON TO USE THEM, THEN, TAKE THOSE RIPPED OUT PARTS AND STICK THEM UP THOSE ANNOYING RICE BURNER MUFFLER ATTACHMENTS......RED BUG LAKE PARK...STOP SENDING THE FIELD CREW HOME AT 3:30 IN THE AFTERNOON...YOU ARE MAKING THE FIELDS UNSAFE AND UNEVENTFUL EVERY OTHER WEEK....WILL MICHAEL JACKSON COVERAGE END THIS CENTURY, PROBABLY NOT...YOU KNOW THE WEATHER CHANNEL WHICH USUALLY PLAYS LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING CALM.. I HEARD THE ACTUAL 'BEAT IT' IN THE BACKGROUND..EVERY CHANNEL GETTING INVOLVED IN SOME TYPE OF COVERAGE.....LOTS OF DEAD SOLDIERS GUYS....LETS TALK MICHAEL THOUGH..DAMN POWER COMPANIES...YOU DO EVERY THING THEY TELL YOU TO LOWER YOUR BILL AND THEY JUST GO AND RAISE YOUR RATES ANYWAY AND CLAIM IT'S FOR SOME NEW EFFICIENT PLANT IN THE FUTURE WHEN THE REALITY OF IT IS IF YOU LOWER YOUR BILL YOUR RATES GO UP FOR LACK OF USE AND THEY PASS ON THEIR LOSSES TO YOU..STUCK LIKE CHUCK..NO LEVERAGE EVER WITH THE UTILITY COMPANIES....I'M NOT A SMART GUY WHEN IT COMES TO THE OIL SITUATION IN THIS WORLD, BUT I LEARNED THAT CIVILIANS ARE CUTTING BACK ON THEIR USAGE, THE OIL IS NOT BEING USED AS MUCH...AND THEY KEEP RAISING THE PRICE TO US WHEN THE COST OF THE BARRELS OF CRUDE OIL IS GOING DOWN.HUH???BETTER BELIEVE THE POWER COMPANIES ARE IN CAHOOTS WITH THE OIL COMPANIES...IN CAHOOTS AGAINST US...GOTTA LOVE THE BANKS IN THIS COUNTRY..RAISING PEOPLES MORTGAGE RATES TO UN-PAYABLE AMOUNTS BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR WHEN NEW RATES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING DOWN IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIX THIS HOUSING DEBACLE THEY ALL STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE ( LET'S GIVE PEOPLE HOUSES WE KNOW THEY CANT AFFORD AND WHEN THEY DEFAULT, CONTRIBUTE TO THE STEADILY RISING HOMELESS RATES IN THIS COUNTRY) WHEN THE BIG BANKS MAKE MISTAKES THEY GET BAILOUT MONEY? THE PEOPLE THE BANKS SCREW GET NOTHING BUT DESPAIR AND HELPLESSNESS..PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN BUT NOT PROUD TO WATCH OUR CONSTITUTION BEING TAKEN FROM US, BILL OF RIGHTS SHRINKING AND NO GREAT VOICES TO BE HEARD EVER...WHERE DID ALL OUR GREAT SPEAKERS AND ACTIVISTS GO..TO WATCH THE PARADE OF AMERICA GO MARCHING BY...IF SILENCE IS GOLDEN, WE SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO OVERCOME THE LOWEST POINT IN OUR COUNTRY'S HISTORY AND PULL US OUT OF THIS "RECESSION". JUST MAKE SURE THAT MC HAMMER DOES NOT "TOUCH THIS" MONEY!!!
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The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

Remakes of classic films can be tricky for Hollywood. In order for them to be successful, they have to maintain the essence of the original while bringing the plot and characters into the present society. The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 shows a great effort of paying homage to the original 1974 version by casting Denzel Washington and John Travolta in the lead roles.

Four assumed terrorists hijack a New York City subway train, along with its civilian passengers. Ryder (John Travolta) heads the criminal group and demands $10 million in exchange for the hostages’ lives. Walter Garber (Denzel Washington), a demoted subway dispatcher, is the first person to notice irregularities with the train’s behavior. Ryder takes a special liking to Garber and will negotiate with him alone.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is nothing if not fast paced. In a way, this movie is much like a NYC subway ride. The story jerks the audience around in a quick manner taking sharp turns and all the while keeping you in the dark. The main power source to this ride is the very entertaining scenes between Washington’s Garber and Travolta’s Ryder. Travolta once again dons the role of the sociopath walking the very narrow line between psychotic and genius, something at which he may be the very best. Ryder is an example of an over-the-top character that works perfectly in his story. Some of his behaviors that may be viewed as unrealistic are probably from people that do not have a lot of New York experience. Ryder represents the darker and repressed side of New York, but maintains an uncomfortable quirkiness that confuses the audience to decide whether they should be appalled or simply laugh. On the other end of the spectrum, Garber is brought to life by that very familiar Denzel poise. He stays calm under extreme circumstances, installs confidence in anything he does, and always seems like he has the situation under control. Washington does a good job of pulling back that unshakable poise as he is portraying a civil servant thrown into a very extreme situation. Although, that restraint does not last very long as Garber probably adapts a little too quickly and much more competently than someone in his position should.

Director Tony Scott (Crimson Tide, True Romance) did not forget about the supporting characters even though Travolta and Washington are the real meat and potatoes of the film. In a lot of ways, the supporting characters in this movie have more depth than many other films with a hostage type scenario. The audience actually gets to know a little about some of the hostages’ backgrounds. Even though it’s only a teardrop of information, it’s enough to engage the audience and make a connection to the characters so they are not just expendable bargaining chips for Ryder. Another noticeable upgrade to the hostage plot is James Gandolfini as the not-so-bumbling mayor of New York. Usually the mayor is clichéd in these types of films as the egotistical politician who only cares about his career and is usually clueless about the gravity of the situation. At first glance that’s exactly what you get from Galdolfini’s character, but the film ends up revealing a much more competent public official than movie goers are used to seeing. And to round it out, John Turturro plays NYC hostage negotiator Camonetti. Turturro is a great actor and way too good for some of the films he’s been in lately, he somewhat returns to form in this film as the low-key, righteous defender of New York. Unfortunately there was just not enough screen time for the audience to get a proper amount of background on Camonetti. His scenes are engaging, but they always ended a little flat.

Besides the very fine actors in this film, the omnipresent star of the movie is the city itself. The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 shows NYC in a light that not many movies or television programs choose to portray, that being an accurate one. Scott is able to show the harshness of New York without turning it into “Hell on Earth,” but anyone who’s yet to make the trip will be sure to get a heaping spoonful of grit in their popcorn. Not to say this film doesn’t have any inaccuracies, actually it has a ton. However, they are mostly reserved for lifetime New Yorkers who know the subway system as well as the dispatchers themselves. Most people that have been to the city will appreciate the overall tone of the film, although after seeing it some future visitors might opt out of the 6-train for a cab ride.

Story: 7.5
Acting: 8.5
Writing: 7.5
Captivation: 7.5
Replay Value: 7.0

Total = 7.6

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The G.O.A.T. 5 - Douchebags

Biggest Douchbags


5. Anybody that uses Twitter



Really Timmy, you’re having a ham sandwich for lunch? WHO GIVES A FUCK! Doesn't affect my life in anyway. I hope your next twitter is "Choking on my ham sandwich" Go do something productive you egotistical prick!


4. Sarah Palin






Why won't this monstrosity go away? Dumber then a wall! Go shoot a moose and look at Russia through your window! And the whole thing with David Lettermen really pissed me off! Sorry but your daughter is a whore! And you’re a bad mother. Funny she is against abortion when she should have been aborted, her slutty daughter should have been aborted, and that retard kid she had should have been aborted. She's a walking billboard for the great things abortion can do!


3. Bill O'Reilly






I think he is just senile at this point because most of the things he says just don't make any sense whatsoever.


2. Elisabeth Hasselbeck




That’s right I watch the view every once in a while, so what. If you have ever watched this cunt rag for more then 2 minutes you know exactly what I’m talking about! I hope one of this homophobe's kids turns out gay! How did she even get the job? She was on Survivor, and you know the people who go on reality shows are all nut cases. Yeah let’s spend a month in the jungle that sounds fun?


1. Rush Limbaugh






I don't think there is any explanation needed here. He's a lunatic! A drug addict! A right wing nut case! A big pumpkin headed fuck! Isn’t scoring oxycotton from a Mexican illegal? Why isn’t he in jail?

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The G.O.A.T. 5 - Hot Chicks

Hottest Chicks in Entertainment



5. MIRANDA KERR




4. CHRISTINA AGUILERA




3. JULIANN HOUGH




2. MILA KUNIS




1. NICOLE SCHERZINGER




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Big Fish Recap 6/24/2009: Awesome

We are Champions, but the Mission is not over yet.


The Cobra Kai knew their mission to capture their first league championship was not going to come easy and they were going to have to bounce back after their rusty outing last game to have any chance at their mission. “My boys put together one of their best all around game, and I’m proud of them for sticking to the task at hand” Capt. Tucci said after the game. “Everybody knew what was at stake for this game, but we really just tried to remain focused and taking it one game at a time” Sully said at the post game conference.

The Kai’s came out focused and ready and Top Shelf was rattled from the get go as they could just feel the Kai’s were about to unleash their No Mercy assassin style bats after being silenced the week before. “I told their pitcher before the game he better watch out, we are amped and ready to go” The Swami AKA the Big E told reporters after the game. The Swami truly lived up to his name predicting a 12 run onslaught before the game. The Big E, who showed up to the park in his assassin uniform complete with the Black brimmed hat was the Kai’s hard hitting and sharp dressed leader in the outfield and made sure the Kai’s followed through on his 12 run prediction.

After the Swami got in their pitchers head he walked the two first batters and soon thereafter the Kai’s unleashed on them to jump out to an 8-0 lead. Everybody contributed to the Kai’s offense even Sully came off the bench to provide a clutch 2 run single in the bottom of the 4th inning as he is groomed and ready to jump into the Kai’s after learning the ropes on the run this season. “The Cobra Kai are a unique team, and you grow up wanting to be a member of them from a young age. It has been my dream come true when I first donned that uniform, but nothing in your life can prepare you for the feeling of walking out onto Red Bug Lake field in that Cobra Kai jersey” Sully said after he was told the Kai’s wrapped up the season championship with one game left.

The Don Juan helped raise his league leading OBP to .892 as the Kai’s bats were rolling and striking with vengeance. Third Baseman Spragues waited until the bases were empty to unleash his first triple of the year.

However, it wasn’t only the bats that lead the Kai’s to victory it was their defensive effort that helped seal the deal on their championship season. Koko was channeling his inner Plastic man and was over the field patrolling the right side of the infield and snagging everything his way. The story of the night for Top Shelf pretty much played out like the first inning over and over. The first swing of the bat by Top Shelf produced a sharp grounder to Johnny Blaze who snatched the ball while Koko sprinted to first base to cover and as he turned around the ball was there. The solid pop of Koko’s rawhide glove being peppered with grounders he was snatching all night signaled a fantastic defensive effort for the Kai’s and it meant an imminent demise for Top Shelf.

However, the best defensive effort of the night was displayed by our fleet of foot Left fielder Mikey Lemieux running down unruly fly balls trying to drop in down the left field fence. Mikey made play after play robbing Top Shelf of any chance of putting together a comeback. To mere mortals there was no room to make that catch, but Mikey is not playing like a mere mortal. “I heard the Big E tell me I had room, so I just stayed focused on the ball and lead it into my glove. I was not going to let anything deter us from winning that trophy” Mikey said after the game.

In true, no mercy form my troops kept playing until the game ended despite holding an 8 run lead going into the 5th inning. With this victory under the Kai’s belt we wrapped up our first league championship and quite possibly the greatest team and season in Club and Red Bug Lake history. However, we accomplished our goal but the mission is not yet finished as we have one more game to go this Friday.

The Team celebrated in style and got ready to send off Big Daddy Doc Gutierrez to his holy matrimony and call up to our St. Pete’s affiliates. The Beer was flowing and so were the Cobra Kai’s as the team raised their glasses time and time again to our teammate and brother in arms Rich Gutierrez. He will be missed but never forgotten.

Well, The Kai look to finish our mission and raise the trophy this week at 7:30 under the Friday Night lights!
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Big Fish Recap 6/18/2009 - Blame It On The Rain

The Green Bar wanted to prove they belonged in the contention for Red Bug Lake title and they could compete with league powerhouse Cobra Kai. Well, they did that and then some Friday night with smothering defense and solid pitching that shut down the usually deadly Cobra Kia offense. It was an unusually quite night for the Kai’s bats as what can only be blamed on their 3 week hiatus due to rain storms that ravished Central Florida. “The Kai’s are a momentum driven team, and we lost our mojo for a game because of our long layoff and the fact our leadoff didn’t set the pace right out of the gates” The Swami noted after the game. “ I have full confidence the rust was shaken and Top Shelf better watch out for our Shake and Bake hitting this Friday as we are about to unleash hell on their pitchers. I can guarantee we will score our usual 12 runs and then add another 6 to make up for last Friday” The Swami added.

Mad Dog was on his game pitching a solid outing and the defense behind him was solid but the Green Bar just found the gaps while the Cobra Kai’s only found leather. “Over a long summer season, there is usually one game when you come out with no life, and that is what we suffered from last Friday….but I know my troops won’t suffer the same consequence this Friday” Capt. Tucci yelled to reporters after a brief post game interview.

The Kai’s posted 2 runs in a club low hitting effort as the Green Bar were tested after the game for PED’s and Plastic Man dosages as they were all over the field snatching up every single Cobra Kai shot their way. “Our bats were swinging and we were hitting the ball, they just were not falling as the Green Bar had something going on out there with their gloves, personally I think they were using Clifford Franklin oil to keep track of the ball. But that is neither here nor there, so I will not go there” Roundhouse Reger said after the game.

“I’ve never seen somebody get robbed so much as we did tonight. The Swami got his payback as he usually abuses Right Fielders, well he is the one that got the short end of the stick as their right fielder stumbled into his line shots all night” Johnny Blaze said after the game. “They came out with a vengeance and I think they juiced up on Kryptonite cause this was their Championship game and they didn’t want to let Superman take them deep again” Koko muttered in the dugout.

Well, it was good to get the loss out of the way. Now we can regain our focus on winning a championship and the pressure of a perfect season is out the way. “Mikey stated at the games end.

The Kai look to regain their footing in their pursuit of a championship season Friday night as they send off Big Daddy Gutierrez into the sunset as he plays in possibly his last game Friday as he got the call-up to the Kai’s affiliate in St. Petersburg.

Well, like my good friend Forrest Gump likes to say “That’s all I have to say about that.” The Kai look to unleash on Top Shelf this Friday at 6:30. See You under the Friday Night Lights.
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The Hangover

Milestone films only come along a few times in a generation. And when a comedy, especially one rated “R,” achieves the same success at the summer box office as the big-budget action sequels, you might have something very special on your hands. Movie buffs can argue all day long over which films are the quintessential representatives of their specific genres. For instance, the nod for best sports comedy can ping pong between Caddyshack and Major League depending on whom you talk to. Also, the battle for most hilarious parody can be won by just about any Mel Brooks film or Airplane. But when it comes to a single man’s last night of ultimate debauchery, “the one” of the group has always been 1984’s Bachelor Party starring Tom Hanks. Well 25 years later, there is finally a new Neo.

Doug Billings (Justin Bartha, National Treasure) is getting married and his best friends, Phil (Bradley Cooper, Wedding Crashers) and Stu (Ed Helms, “The Office”) have the incredibly original idea of taking him to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. Along with Doug’s future brother-in-law Alan (Zach Galifianakis, The Comedians of Comedy) the foursome tries to redefine the definition of the word “party.” However, this monumental night comes with equally awe-inspiring consequences as Phil, Stu, and Alan awake in their dismantled hotel suite with zero recollection of the past night’s events. Oh and one more thing, the groom is missing.

With The Hangover, director Todd Phillips scores his biggest success since Old School in 2003. Only this time he was able to pull off the same kind of hilarity with much lesser known actors. Cooper, Helms, and Galifianakis are all fine comedic actors in their own right, but let’s face it; they are no Ferrell, Wilson, and Vaughn. So instead of character driven scenes, The Hangover is fueled by reactions to absurd scenarios. Cooper and Helms convincingly portray the insanity of the situations happening around them. When the characters are more shocked than the audience, it helps to reign in some of the more far-fetched absurdities. At first glance, Galifianakis’ oddball, savant-like character seems to be of the more contrived variety, but anyone who is familiar with his brand of comedy will just see Zach being Zach.

This film’s script is very funny and well written. Although some of the sight gags fell a little flat as it becomes more and more formidable to shock today’s audiences. Also, there are not a lot of moments were your lungs are completely void of oxygen, but overall The Hangover keeps the viewer laughing throughout the entire film, especially the very rewarding ending.

Just like Bachelor Party, The Hangover will probably be that film in a dad’s DVD collection that they just can’t wait to share with their son when they hit the right age. Unfortunately, the right age will always be 2 or 3 years too soon for mom.

Story: 8.5
Acting: 8.0
Writing: 8.0
Captivation: 8.5
Replay Value: 9.0

Total = 8.4



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