Big Fish Recap 4/29/2010 - Going the Distance

The Cobra Kai squared off against their rival the Swim N Fun in an epic battle last Friday Night that came down to the wire. Coming off the biggest win of the young Cobra Kai’s career the team was without Sully after his huge game but as always the Cobra Kai were set to go to battle.

The Swami had his troops ready to go. I just told the guys” we can win this one, I know deep down we are better than them and It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle.”

The Kai took Elliot’s words to heart and sprinted onto the field looking for victory. The Team battled back and forth behind Mad Dog and some great defensive efforts on the Left Side of the Outfield. The Cobra Kai jumped out to an early lead led by some timely hitting by the Swami and the top of the lineup. Oil Can Sprague’s was back in action and introduced himself back to first base just in time to be knocked home. Our Newest addition Wild Man Wilson took it right up the middle right back at the Swim N Fun with reckless abandon and told them “You aint so Bad, You aint So Bad” and the Kai looked primed and ready for a big Win.

Donjuan Quintana kept his league leading On Base % intact for a third straight season after blasting 3 hits up the middle to set himself up for 2 easy scores. However, in the top of the 3rd a strange thing happened that seemed to be prophetic in the ways of the game. Wild Man Wilson blasted a shot up the middle but as he sprinted out of the box the bottom of his shoe melted away much like Kid Icarus when he flew too close to the sun. Koko, quickly turned to his watchtower to investigate the phenomenon.

“Apparently, when a new warrior is fitted with a T-850 arm their body needs a couple of weeks to fuse with it and become one. I was told by upper management that we were not ready to take over just yet, we must be patient and our victory against the Swim N Fun was to be saved for a big night, like the reunitiion of the lost members of the Cobra Kai returning to help us” I don’t know the exact date but my intuitions tell me it will be in a few weeks.” Koko said in a strange voice after the game, right before he shook his head and said…..”What, What did I just say, I blacked out for a moment”.

Captain Tucci and the Swami were kept busy all night in the outfield running down blasts down the left field line and then to the fences. The Swin N Fun were relentless in their assaults. Wild Man Wilson and Johnny Blaze were busy holding down the fort in the infield, but the Swim N Fun’s onslaught proved to be a bit too much for the Cobra Kai on that night.

“ I just wanted to go the distance with Creed and the Swim N Fun, we’ve never gone the distance and that what we did” Johnny Blaze said after the game
It doesn't matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again." Captain Tucci Said.

Well, the Kai lost the battle but have not lost the war. We have a big matchup against the hated Sharks this Friday night. On another note, the Dojo has learned that the Mighty Sharks are actually named after a gang from the 1950’s musical the West Side Story. Yes, that West Side story that features the mighty Officer Krupke. West Side Story is a touching love story about the Sharks and the Jets.

Oooohhhhh…..are we really going to lose to a team named after a Musical??????? Let’s show them what the Cobra Kai are all about this week under the Friday night Lights!

Big Fish Recap 4/22/10 - TRAVESTY!

Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy. That is the Cobra Kai Mantra and in all my years of following sports I have never seen the Cobra Kai follow through on that ideal in such an amazing way as they did this past Friday night.

The phenomenon that I witnessed is one that I don’t expect to see ever, and I mean ever again unless Red Bug Lake implements a Title IV ruling allowing Women to compete in our league. In the first inning the Cobra Kai seemed to be infused with DonJuan’s super power of “omnipresence” as it seemed like every player was on base at all times except when the Swami himself utilized his cyberdine targeting system to unleash ungodly hell on the Swanging D’s and clear the bases at his disposal.

The Defending champs began the season with a new addition as Mike (Yet to be Named) Wilson returned to the champs after a devastating shoulder injury. However, with the departure of Trox, the Swami was able to recapture his T-850 arm he gifted to the Troxinater and bestow it onto Wilsons surgically repaired shoulder. Tests are inconclusive but from all signs it seems to be a success.

In the first inning the Cobra Kai successfully batted through the line-up two times….Yes You read that correctly….Twice jumping out to a 15-0 lead. The Defending Champs were absolutely unstoppable. The team was flummoxed at their newfound powers. Oil Can Spragues could not be in attendance but his Super Power “Psych Out” Gift could be heard from miles away as the team immediately heard him saying…..Beware of THE TRAVESTY” rule…..Beware of “TRAVESTY”…….and thus the Kai did not know how to react as they had already beaten the life out of their newest opponents the Swanging D in one short half inning.

In that inning the Big Fish hit an infield double. That is correct he hit the ball to the 2nd basemen and simply sprinted past both the first baseman and 2nd basemen on his way to 2nd base. Sully, came through in the biggest fashion with the greatest hit of the night blasting a shot over the Centerfielders head for an in the park grand slam.

“You never know who is going to step up for the team and be the hero and tonight that man was Sully” Capt. Tucci said after the game. “I have been preparing for this moment my whole life, and when the Captain called my number I was ready to go” Sullly said after the game. After a devastating first inning the Swanging D’s were brutally beaten and grasping for life with every breath. Koko, had attacked their Leftfielder so bad he was left wandering around the outfield in a daze with no shoes or socks completely disoriented after the effects of Swami’s Targeting System, Koko’s relentless punishment, and Roundhouse Regers “Moonshine Muscle” power left the outfield dazed and confused.

The Cobra Kai lives by the credo of No Mercy but the team was in serious jeopardy of not being able to follow through on this mantra. Immediately, Koko utilized his superpower of Watchtower prognostication and found a system that is able to suppress the team’s super powers for a limited time. “I was hesitant to install this untested system, but I felt I had to as if I didn’t the other team could have gotten seriously injured or killed, I was left with no choice but to go forward with it” Koko said after the game. Although, he only deactivated a few players superpowers it still was not enough as the Umps sensed the serious problem and finally called the game at 22-0 and put the Swanging D’s out of their misery in the 2nd inning.

The Cobra Kai looked to continue the defense of their championship this Friday as they face their heated rivals the Swim N Fun in a chance at redemption from last season.

See You Under the Friday Night Lights!

Kick-Ass

Splice together the fundamental story telling of Spider-Man with the ultra-realism of Watchmen, and then finish it off with some heightened violence, Kill Bill style.
The result . . . a very Kick-Ass film!

Hollywood continues to ride the comic book money train, but a fantastic side effect in their quest for cash is that producers are diving more and more into lesser-known stories and graphic novels. Kick-Ass is such a story, based on the graphic novel written by alternate reality god, Mark Millar. Protagonist Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-Ass, narrates his tale about what would happen in the real world if a random citizen with no real purpose to avenge or hero code to uphold, just decided to suit up and start fighting crime. Baffled by the ratio of superhero fans to actual superheroes, Lizewski decided to be a pioneer and create a crime-fighting alter ego. However to his surprise, Kick-Ass finds that he’s not the only costume-clad hero patrolling the streets after all.

This film excels in its ability to explore new alleys of a genre in which it is very difficult to produce completely original ideas. Kick-Ass is able to deliver the inconvenient and brutal truth to why vigilantism is not a booming business. Slapping on some tights does not magically enhance someone’s fighting abilities or protect them from blades and bullets. However, it does strike a nerve in the collective soul. And in the age of the viral video it’s easier than ever to reach millions of people in just a few minutes, something that this film portrays very realistically.

With the exception of Nicolas Cage, who plays Big Daddy, the cast is primarily made of virtual unknowns. Of course many will recognize McLovin, (Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Superbad) as the Chris D’Amico/Red Mist character, but for the most part the cast is very fresh. Aaron Johnson (Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass) does a fantastic job embodying the every-day kid with a superhero complex. Johnson is able to truly connect with the audience and give a sense of his frustration with society but at the same time exude just how petrified he is to do something about it. As the hero Kick-Ass, Johnson also triumphs by construing the confidence a simple change of clothes can instill despite struggling with the fear of his own mortality.

Cage and Mintz-Plasse bring the goods to their perspective characters as expected, but the indisputable diamond in the ruff in this film is Chloe Moretz who plays Mindy Macready/Hit Girl. The character of Hit Girl has the ability to induce the audience to laugh, cringe and shout “Damn!” simultaneously throughout the film. Any reservations about the validity of an 11-year-old girl fighting grown adults are washed away with Hit Girl’s first appearance on screen. She gains instant credibility as the smallest badass on Earth.

Kick-Ass is able to stay true to the raw brutality of its characters, which in part made them so popular in the graphic novel. But amazingly the hard-core violence does not shadow the characters’ personalities. It’s easy to feel a real connection with them and although murder is everywhere, it’s secondary to the underlying message of the film.

Although Kick-Ass starts out with a brutal reflection of the real world, it does gradually work its way to the surreal of comic cells. However it is not a jarring leap, the action escalates gradually and significantly bends but does not break the rules of reality. Kick-Ass definitely lives up to its title, leaving viewers with sensory overload and an inkling to jump online to purchase brightly colored costumes and firearms.

Story: 8.5
Acting: 8.5
Writing: 8.5
Captivation: 9.5
Replay Value: 9.0

Total = 8.8

Big Fish Recap 4/7/2010 - THE CHAMPS!

We all know Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy is the Cobra Kai Creed. The team followed through on 2 out of 3 in the our quest for our 2nd Championship Friday night but would it be enough? Perfect might be the enemy of the good, but good enough proved perfection's greatest ally in the Cobra Kai’s quest at an undefeated Season in Conference and a Championship trophy to add to our banners hanging at Gators.

The Kai were pitted against our wannabe rivals the Goonies and we jumped out to an early 9-0 lead despite playing a man down as Oil Can Spragues was delayed in a speaking visit to Daytona Beach. Double S was also missing as he had a prior commitment to our double A franchise.

However, the Cobra Kai would not let anything stand in between the team and a date with destiny to raise the trophy one more time.

“ Vince Lombardi once told me The Strength of the group is the strength of its leader and the harder you work the harder it is to surrender. And I just told myself there was no way I was going to let the Cobra Kai walk away from the field Friday night without that trophy in hand” The Swami told reporters after the game. The Swami came ready to play and the “Big E” started things off early for the Kai as he had a bases clearing triple to start the game and set the pace for the Kai early on. Everybody contributed offensively once the pace was set and the team batted through the line-up to start the game off.

Capt. Tucci was breaking in his new bat and banged home two runners including the DonJuan whom secured his second straight On Base Percentage title by safely reaching base all four at bats Friday night and ending the season with an .997 OBP%. “Los Pendehos will never hold me down, and I have nobody to thank but my teammates for this, and it is all worth it to raise the trophy” DonJuan said through his interpreter wife Jen after the game.

SuperKoko wore his destroyer Underroos Friday night relentlessly attacking the Left Field line until injuring yet another Left Fielder and putting him down for the count. The Goonies were so baffled by our relentless assault on the bases they had to change fielders three times to try and shore up holes the Kai exploited.

However, the Team forget to deliver on our motto of “No Mercy” as after posting an early 10-2 lead the team began planning the celebration at Gators and let the Goonies creep back into striking distance for a brief period led by the stellar play of their hot fielding pitcher the pony tailed Silver Streak.

“At first I was worried about the game being called for Travesty, but then the team started testing their pitcher and going right at him, I knew he was a crafty veteran and told the team to hit away from him” the teams veteran spokesman Oil Can Spragues said after the game. Once the Kai realized this they settled down and were able to put the game away.

Johnny Blaze was in full control of the Infield snagging several line drives hit his way at third and his partner to the left SS Trox did much of the same. Trox also belted two line drives deep to keep the game in check for the Kai late in the matchup. Roundhouse Reger added three timely sacrifice fly’s late in the game to help seal the deal for the Cobra Kai.

The Team closed it out in the fifth and claimed our second Championship in team history. "Every player should be accorded the privilege of at least one season with the Cobra Kai. That's softball as it should be played - in God's own sunshine. And that's really living, but unfortunately for the rest of the league this is a family and we aint going nowhere so let the rest of Red Bug know this is Cobra Kai Country….Let’s do a Shot” Capt Tucci said after the game.

Well, The Kai won and completed their goal of winning another championship. The Team celebrated in style putting back a new record of 86 pitchers in celebration at Gators. Till, Next season the Cobra Kai reign supreme.

Kluge Chronicles - 4/1/10

How’s it going Playaz? PJ with a new chronicle for ya ass! I’m going different with it this time because I don’t think the last post caught everybody’s attention. So I’m going to try something new. First off I’ve noticed that in order to make a statement on this blog you have to know some politics, healthcare fuck religion bullshit. I have my opinions but I mostly keep them to myself. However I do enjoy having an intelligent “one on one” to get a more open mind. For instance I’d like to hear an opinion on Hugo Chavez. Ever since I met Meritza, my Venezuelan wife, I have been trying to keep up with all the news on him. It seems to me that he is “trying “to do good for his country but all he is doing is making more money for himself and giving himself more power. I’ve speak to a lot of middle and upper class Venezuelan citizens and they say he is taking away more and more of their business. It sounds like he is going towards communism. Hugo claims to be helping out the poor who outnumber the upper and middle classes therefore giving him more power.

Although I feel stronger opinions on a few topics, I would not kill for some issues like abortion, healthcare whatever. What I’m trying to say I like to keep things simple. Although I enjoy intellectual conversations, I am much better with entertainment type shit and looking forward towards a positive future.

I had an idea in the shower today about sharing some of my entertainment type knowledge with all of you. I’d like to make a few suggestions on new and old entertainment media I feel everyone should watch or read at least once in their life. Now I can assume most of you have either read or saw the suggestions below but maybe it’s been a while. And if you didn’t then that’s a bonus to you. Also I will make a few comments on the suggested pieces. Three last things. 1. I’m not steeling the “Koko Review”; I’m merely making a comment. 2. I’m not stealing a G.O.A.T. top ten. 3. Some may not have time but if you do enjoy.
Suggested Shit

New Movie: Brooklyn’s Finest – Great movie directed by Antoine Fuqua, the same guy who did Training Day. It probably won’t win any Oscars, well Richard Gere could be nominated, but that’s it. It’s gangsta!

Old Movie: Do the Right Thing – Great movie directed by Spike Lee. I’ve been riding out to Public Enemy’s greatest hits album and every time I here “Fight the Power” I think of the opening credits with a hot Rosie Perez dancing her heart out.

Book: The Catcher and the Rye – Written by J. D. Salinger who is from the New England area and just pasted away last year. Yes I know it is high school material but when was the last time you read it? Reacquaint yourselves.

Album: Oracular Spectacular – by MGMT. MGMT is from Brooklyn, NY and this album came out in ’07. I personally like the album and feel it sounds like they were inspired by Pink Floyd.

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