Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy. That is the Cobra Kai Mantra and in all my years of following sports I have never seen the Cobra Kai follow through on that ideal in such an amazing way as they did this past Friday night.
The phenomenon that I witnessed is one that I don’t expect to see ever, and I mean ever again unless Red Bug Lake implements a Title IV ruling allowing Women to compete in our league. In the first inning the Cobra Kai seemed to be infused with DonJuan’s super power of “omnipresence” as it seemed like every player was on base at all times except when the Swami himself utilized his cyberdine targeting system to unleash ungodly hell on the Swanging D’s and clear the bases at his disposal.
The Defending champs began the season with a new addition as Mike (Yet to be Named) Wilson returned to the champs after a devastating shoulder injury. However, with the departure of Trox, the Swami was able to recapture his T-850 arm he gifted to the Troxinater and bestow it onto Wilsons surgically repaired shoulder. Tests are inconclusive but from all signs it seems to be a success.
In the first inning the Cobra Kai successfully batted through the line-up two times….Yes You read that correctly….Twice jumping out to a 15-0 lead. The Defending Champs were absolutely unstoppable. The team was flummoxed at their newfound powers. Oil Can Spragues could not be in attendance but his Super Power “Psych Out” Gift could be heard from miles away as the team immediately heard him saying…..Beware of THE TRAVESTY” rule…..Beware of “TRAVESTY”…….and thus the Kai did not know how to react as they had already beaten the life out of their newest opponents the Swanging D in one short half inning.
In that inning the Big Fish hit an infield double. That is correct he hit the ball to the 2nd basemen and simply sprinted past both the first baseman and 2nd basemen on his way to 2nd base. Sully, came through in the biggest fashion with the greatest hit of the night blasting a shot over the Centerfielders head for an in the park grand slam.
“You never know who is going to step up for the team and be the hero and tonight that man was Sully” Capt. Tucci said after the game. “I have been preparing for this moment my whole life, and when the Captain called my number I was ready to go” Sullly said after the game. After a devastating first inning the Swanging D’s were brutally beaten and grasping for life with every breath. Koko, had attacked their Leftfielder so bad he was left wandering around the outfield in a daze with no shoes or socks completely disoriented after the effects of Swami’s Targeting System, Koko’s relentless punishment, and Roundhouse Regers “Moonshine Muscle” power left the outfield dazed and confused.
The Cobra Kai lives by the credo of No Mercy but the team was in serious jeopardy of not being able to follow through on this mantra. Immediately, Koko utilized his superpower of Watchtower prognostication and found a system that is able to suppress the team’s super powers for a limited time. “I was hesitant to install this untested system, but I felt I had to as if I didn’t the other team could have gotten seriously injured or killed, I was left with no choice but to go forward with it” Koko said after the game. Although, he only deactivated a few players superpowers it still was not enough as the Umps sensed the serious problem and finally called the game at 22-0 and put the Swanging D’s out of their misery in the 2nd inning.
The Cobra Kai looked to continue the defense of their championship this Friday as they face their heated rivals the Swim N Fun in a chance at redemption from last season.
See You Under the Friday Night Lights!
